Adoption at the Movies : Adoption Movie Guide: Camp

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Adoption Movie Guide: Camp

Eli lives with his mother, but his life isn’t a good one. His mother neglects him both emotionally and physically. His parents are separated, and Eli’s interactions with his father are also troubling; his father beats him, leaving him scarred. Eli is taken into a group home when his mother dies of a drug overdose. Two weeks after her death, Eli is taken to Royal Family Kids Camp, a summer camp geared at giving kids in residential care a week of fun and unconditional love. Unfortunately, Eli’s counselor Ken is at camp for selfish reasons, and seems ready to give up on Eli. Slowly, the counselor’s heart warms to Eli’s needs, and Eli warms up to the counselor. After Eli’s father is arrested, he asks that the counselor care for him. As the film ends, it seems likely that Eli’s counselor will become his adoptive father.

How is This Relevant to Adoption / Foster Care

Camp draws from real stories, and is in a real-life setting. There are 400,000 children in foster care at any given time. Approximately one third of those children are actively waiting for an adoptive home, and the other two thirds are often experiencing concurrent case plans – their families are working towards being able to reunify while at the same time, social workers are looking for an adoptive family for the child in case reunification isn’t possible. Most children in foster care live in foster homes, while some live in group homes like the one that was home to Eli. For any child, foster care is a traumatic experience. Children have often been abused or neglected prior to entering care, and some children experience further trauma while in care. Camps like this one seek to provide kids with a safe place to have fun and to experience unconditional love. There is the potential for long-term relationships to form between counselors and kids – counselors have become mentors, foster parents and adoptive parents to the children they’ve served. Camp provides an intentional look at one aspect of some kids’ journeys through care.

Strong Points

Camp’s strength is in its realism. I’ve been a fost/adopt social worker, and kids on my caseload have gone to Royal Family Kids Camp. The movie is realistic. There are realistic, heart-warming scenes in the film which depict the love that counselors extend to their campers. The bus of children is greeted by an enthusiastically cheering crowd of counselors who already know their names. Tough military veteran Samuel plays imaginatively with his nerdy camper Redford. There are some tear-jerking scenes, too. We learn that two sisters only see each other at camp, once a year, because they live in different foster homes. This happens in real life. One counselor pulls Ken aside and comments that Eli is testing Ken, not to test his patience, but to see whether Ken even “gives a damn” about him. The counselor remarks that, as far as Eli knows, no adult does.

Eli’s rejection, acceptance, subsequent rejection, and final acceptance of Ken, and his acting-out behaviors are realistic for a child experiencing what Eli is experiencing. Ken is initially taken aback by Eli’s behaviors, attitudes, and peculiarities, but he eventually understands Eli.

The children are very resilient. Redford quickly forgives Eli for hitting him. Other campers respond to adult encouragement by bravely tackling new experiences.

Samuel challenges Ken’s complaining, reminding him that working with foster kids is nowhere near as challenging as war. His message to Ken is basically, “Yes this is difficult – but grow up. You’re the adult here.”

The film stresses the importance of honesty. Eli calls out Ken for unintentionally lying to him. Another character cautions Ken not to make promises to Eli that he might not be able to keep. Ken wisely does not promise to see Eli again; he is eventually able to do so, but didn’t risk setting Eli up for disappointment.

The Biblical story of Joseph and his brothers is shared. It’s relevant to foster care: what happened was bad, but God can bring good out of it.

Eli says hurtful things, but most of the adults around him don’t over-react.

Ken’s initial, authoritarian behaviors don’t work. He begins to connect with Eli when he is more sensitive and understanding towards him.

Eli never had a birthday party, but Ken gave him his first one. Nia Vardalos talked about giving “firsts” to her child. Viewers might consider what “firsts” they can give to kids in their care.

Some Challenges

Foster parents often have negative expectations of birth parents. The portrayal of Eli’s mother as a negligent, drug-abusing partier and of Eli’s father as a violent, unpredictable alcoholic may help solidify prospective foster parents’ preconceived notions of birth parents. While we are given some brief insight into Eli’s father’s past, the only redeeming act he does in the film is to relinquish custody of his son. This too closely mirrors some adoptive parents’ very divergent views of birth parents as either irresponsible, dangerous people, or selfless people who give up their child. At the same time, Eli’s home situation is not unheard of in foster care. Viewers should be sure to learn each child’s situation rather than assuming their first guesses are correct.

Some prospective foster parents often try to bypass training because they feel it is unnecessary. Ken is able to become a counselor without going through any real training. The film does show Ken struggling because of his lack of preparation.

The camp counselors are often very surprised at some of the kids’ experiences. It doesn’t occur to one counselor that her camper can’t read, or to another that her camper has never ridden a bike. I guess, as a social worker, it’s easier to not be surprised by stuff like this, but counselors aren’t necessarily social workers – just adults who want to help kids, who might be getting their first exposure to the system. More on that in the Recommendations section.

Ken frequently takes others’ sides against Eli. He affirms that Eli is out in kickball. He believes other children when they accuse Eli of stealing. Many foster parents fall into this behavior, but sometimes, an adult extending trust (even if it’s not initially deserved) is such a unique and powerful experience to children that it can be transformational. It’s the difference between saying, “You have to earn my trust” and saying, “You might not be trustworthy yet. But I’ll give you trust anyway, and expect you to grow into a trustworthy person. And in doing so, I’ll show you how to trust.”

Weak Points

Some aspects of this film make it likely to be a poor choice for children in foster care. Children could be traumatized by scenes of violence between Eli and his father. In one painful scene, Ken tells Eli that Eli is “bad.” Ken does not apologize directly; the camp director apologizes for him.

Recommendations

Camp is a kid-filled movie, but it’s best suited to general audience adults; kids in care might be re-traumatized by seeing some of the abuse and interpersonal dynamics between Eli and his parents. Adults connected personally or professionally to foster care will be touched by Camp. Perhaps the best audience for Camp is those adults who, like Ken, are not connected to foster care but could be stirred in their spirit once faced with a child’s needs. If you’re reading Adoption at the Movies, you probably already care about adoption, and maybe foster care, too. You’ll probably like this movie. Bring a friend. It might help open their heart to serving kids in a much-needed way. Even as a professional social worker with previous knowledge of Royal Family Kids’ Camp, my heart was stirred by the gravity of kids’ needs, and touched by seeing a fictional depiction of the very real truth that unconditional love can overcome many challenges.

Questions for Discussion After the Movie

Why did Eli hit Redford? As a counselor or parent, what would have been your gut response? What would have been a better response than your gut response?

After Eli hit Redford, Ken expressed, “You can’t just throw out right and wrong. The kid has broken every single rule and there needs to be consequences” He thought Eli should be punished by being expelled from camp. The camp director suggested that he be more understanding of Eli’s perspective. What do you think?

Which action would have caused the best outcome for Eli?

Eli didn’t want to change clothes or swim. Ken became frustrated by this. We eventually learned that Eli didn’t want to do these things because doing so would expose scarring on his torso from abuse. What other scenarios have you experienced where a child’s behaviors only made sense after learning a bit more about their history? Are there any behaviors you’re observing in your children now that don’t make sense? How can you avoid leaping to conclusions? Sometimes kids don’t talk about their reasons; why didn’t Eli initially share about his reasons for not wanting to swim?

Eli was able to disclose that he hates his deceased mother for how she mistreated him. Have you ever been angry at someone who is dead? How could a counselor or parent respond in a way that would be most helpful to Eli?

How can extending trust to a child change their life?

When Eli’s father showed up at Camp, Eli withdrew into his shell again. Why?

The director asks, “What do you expect, that years of pain will somehow magically disappear in a week? That you could fix him in a couple of days?” In your experience, how long does deep emotional pain take to heal? How does that understanding impact your parenting?

Eli never had a birthday party, but Ken gave him his first one. Nia Vardalos talked about giving “firsts” to her child. What are some firsts that you can create for kids in care that you know?

Prayer was an important part of the camp director’s care for the children, asking God to cover them when she couldn’t. Does prayer play into your care of kids? How?

Ken asked why God allows Eli to suffer. How would you answer him?

Would you consider being a counselor this summer? Which of your friends could go with you?

If you found this review interesting, think about checking out Royal Family Kids Camp. You might also want to follow Adoption at the Movies on Facebook and follow me on Twitter.