Friday, May 3, 2013
Laura Dennis on Rise of the Guardians and Adoptee Self-Discovery
Laura Dennis is a writer and blogger who has created, among other things, an Adoption Glossary. She is the author of Adopted Reality, which is available on Amazon. I recently asked Laura to share about a movie that has connected with her adoption story in one way or another. Here's what she had to say.Rise of the Guardians.
I know, I
know, Rise of the Guardians isn’t an adoption
story per say. However, this is such
a compelling story, beautifully designed and executed--appropriate for some
preteens and great for adolescents--the movie is worth watching for several
important reasons.
The
struggles of a lost child finding his purpose in life, protagonist Jack Frost
provides a great basis for analyzing coming-of-age and self-identity themes.
Addison did
an amazing job driving home the lessons a child can learn from this wonderful
“making of a hero” tale, in his review.
Aaaannnd ...
if we know anything about post-adoption issues, we know that adoptees tend to
struggle during that super-fun “coming-of-age” phase: adolescence. In order to
develop a firm self-identity, teens
wonder who they are and where they came from.
A little background on “adoptee
self-discovery”
For adoptees
in closed adoptions, or open adoptions with rare or “pictures only” contact,
adolescence can be particularly hard. Lacking genetic mirroring, but entering the normal
developmental phase of separating from one’s parents, adoptees are in a unique
and difficult position.
On the one
hand, they would love to know and see
exactly where they came from. But given their adoptee status, that information may
be unknown, unsafe or in the case of international adoptees, simply not financially
possible at the given moment.
On the other
hand, adoptees will look to their adoptive parents for mentoring and guidance. Adoptive
parents would do well to remember, their adoptee can’t be “just like” their them;
the biology simply isn’t there. But, there are things that adoptive parents can
do to help with their teen’s transition into adulthood.
This,
friends, is where Jack Frost can help us.
Lacking knowledge, our hero can’t move
forward
Jack Frost
is a cute teenager with special powers. He can turn water to ice, create
magical frost beings, and most importantly--with a flick of his magic staff, he
can turn an angry, joyless stick-in-the-mud into a smiling, ball-of-laughter.
Jack finds joy in helping others, but he does not initially realize
this. He takes even more joy in learning the truth about himself: that he does
take care of others.
North uses nesting dolls to illustrate a valuable point: people are more
than they appear to be on the surface. Each person has many layers, and deep
inside they have a core value or trait which defines their lives.
It’s
important to note here ... in the absence of a guide, North (the Santa
character) steps in as a fatherly figure, providing guidance even if he can’t provide information. North’s leadership is a great way to look at one of
the roles specific to adoptive parents.
Further,
North’s nesting dolls are an apt reminder: there is more than meets the eye
when it comes to an adoptee’s development of self.
Jack’s healing hinges on recovering his
memories
Jack
realizes it’s imperative for him to move forward, to heal, to accept his past.
To become a Guardian, he has to finding out the actual information. It’s a phrase we’ve all heard before ...
How can I know where I’m going, if I don’t know where I came
from?
In the
movie, Jack lost his memories, but it’s similar for adoptees, no? Without
stories from their birth parents about who they were before they were
adopted, how can they move forward. Adoptees often need to know where they came
from, what their birth parents and grandparents were like, what their ethnicity
and heritage is.
All of that unknowing
is similar to Jack’s hero’s journey.
With this
realization in hand, Jack sets off on a search to recover his memories. Once he
accomplishes this, he understands who he really is. He knows where he came
from, and with that information he feels complete. He can heal, move forward
and live as the fun-loving person he truly is. He can become a true Guardian.
* * *
Laura
Dennis was adopted in New Jersey, raised in Maryland, and learned how to be a
(sane) person in California. A professionally trained dancer, Laura also worked
as sales director for a biotech startup. With two children under the age of
three, in 2010 she and her husband sought to simplify their lifestyle and
escaped to his hometown, Belgrade, Serbia. While the children learned Serbian
in their cozy preschool, Laura recovered from sleep deprivation and wrote Adopted Reality, a Memoir, available on Amazon.
She
currently blogs at Expat (Adoptee) Mommy. Connect with her on Facebook, twitter @LauraDennisCA, or email
laura@adoptedrealitymemoir.com.
If you liked Laura's review, you might enjoy these other guest posts
Also, be sure to Follow Adoption at the Movies on Facebook!
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Loved the movie. Loved the break down too. Adolescence was NOT easy for me either (closed adoptee) and therefore hard for my folks especially!
ReplyDeleteSooo true -- I was the "perfect adoptee" as a teenager, and even so, dealing with me was not easy. Thanks for reading and commenting!
ReplyDeleteLaura