Happy New Year!
2014 was the second full year of Adoption at the Movies (we started doing this in October 2012), and also my first full year as a movie reviewer in Los Angeles - this is definitely an opportune place to live for someone writing about movies. Outside of Adoption at the Movies, I've greatly enjoyed serving as a clinical supervisor to about a half-dozen excellent, committed folks. I've also continued to learn from my online friendships with several voices in the online adoption community, especially including Lori Holden, Amanda Woolston, Laura Dennis, and Bryan and Angela Tucker. I've also been excited to start writing for a wider readership through Foster Focus, The New Social Worker, Adoption Today, Fostering Families Today, Focus on Adoption, and Adoptive Families magazines.
Thank you for reading Adoption at the Movies.
To finish up 2014, let's revisit the Top Ten Most-Viewed Posts of the past year! Feel free to click the titles of any reviews you want to revisit!
10. Juno - This story of a pregnant teenager's decision of adoption is one of the most unique adoption films in recent years. Quick-paced and humorous, it is well-enjoyed by many teens and adults.
9. ReMoved - A newly-certified foster family made a short film about a kids' experiences in foster care, and it went viral. Adoption at the Movies interviewed the film's writer about its creation (click here to read it). A sequel is due out next year!
8. A Therapist Weighs In on How To Train Your Dragon 2 - Adoption therapist Brooke Randolph drops by Adoption at the Movies to comment on how the film connects to issues of identity. Definitely worth reading!
7. X-Men: Days of Future Past - This, the lone super-hero film in the top ten, shows a favorite character travelling to the past.
6. Earth to Echo - Four kids set off together to uncover a mystery. This film features a very positive portrayal of a foster kid. Alex is loyal, brave, forgiving, and dependable. He is not a hero or a victim, and he isn't overly perfect. He's just a good kid and a good friend who also happens to be in foster care, like ... well, like a lot of kids who are in foster care.
5. How to Train Your Dragon 2 - A young viking is reunified with his mother after nearly a life of absence. The film conveys the belief that identity is drawn from your roots, but shaped by your choices.
4. Divergent - This tween, teen, and young-adult film follows teenager Tris as she leaves her family of origin to join a new family of sorts. The film challenges the notion that joining one family means completely separating from the first one.
3. Mr. Peabody and Sherman - Sherman is the seven-year-old human son of the very intelligent dog, Mr. Peabody. The plot of this film is largely driven by the evil social worker, Ms. Grunion's, desire to take Sherman away from his adoptive dad.
2. The 2014 Adoption at the Movies Awards - This first annual awards column reviewed around a dozen adoption-related movies from the past year, and named the best independent adoption film and the best mainstream adoption film of the year. Look for the 2015 Adoption at the Movies Awards to come out right around Academy Awards season!
1. Annie - In less than a week, this review became the most-read article EVER on Adoption at the Movies. This re-made story of a foster child in New York City was the most heavily-anticipated adoption movie of the year.
Thanks for reading! See you next year!
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Tuesday, December 30, 2014
Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb Adoption Movie Review
Larry Daley is a night guard at a museum. Years ago, the
museum began to come to life at night. A magical tablet, created for Egyptian
royalty, wakes the museum exhibits each evening. However, we learn that the
archeologists who discovered the tablet also awoke a curse. Now, the tablet is
losing its powers. Unless Larry can reverse the curse, the tablet’s power will
end, and the museum population will never wake again.
Larry talks to Ahkmenrah, who reveals that the secrets of
the tablet are only known to his father, who is on display inside the British
Museum. Larry takes several museum friends with him to London to attempt to
uncover the secret of the tablet and to save the museum’s magic.
At the same time, Larry’s son is deciding that he does not
want to go to college, and Larry struggles to allow his son the right to
self-determination. They’ll have some time to talk, because Larry’s son has
come with him to London.
The Adoption
Connection
Ahkmenrah’s parents made the tablet so that he could be with
them forever. However, they are being
exhibited in museums that are an ocean apart. His parents are delighted to see
him when he arrives at the British Museum, and he decides to stay with them,
where he belongs.
One Neanderthal looks very much like Larry (and is played by
Ben Stiller, who also plays Larry.) He calls Larry “dada.” Larry continually
refutes him. A talking head teases Larry, saying “dumb-dumb got a new son-son.”
Strong Points
Larry is a committed dad. He tells his son, “I’m always
gonna worry about you; I’m your dad.” He acknowledges that it’s “a strange
thing seeing your boy become a man.” He’s trying to let him grow up though. He tells
one character that his son seems ready to take on the world on his own; the
other character replies, “Then you’ve done your job.”
Ahkmenrah’s father obviously loves his son. He explained,
“When I first gazed upon you, you meant more than anything.” It’s good when
fathers can verbally express their affection for their children.
Weak Points
A towering monkey saves his miniature friends from lava by
peeing on the lava flow, and also his friends. They get drenched.
Larry is perhaps overzealous in his parenting. He tracks his
son’s phone; when his son learns this, he is offended. A similar theme came upin Men, Women and Children (click to read more.) He explains that he is only
looking out for his son, who replies (correctly, I think), “spied on is not the
same as looking out.”
The Egyptian ruler’s comment to Larry is intended for
laughs, but could offend some viewers. Larry relates that he is Jewish. The
ruler replies, “I love Jews. We owned 40,000 of them.” Larry tells him that
they hated living in Egypt, “We have dinner once a year and talk about it. It’s
a big deal to us.”
Recommendations
This is Robin Williams’ last movie. His final line is one of
parting, to Larry, “Smile, my boy. Sunrise.” Although it will probably go over
the heads of most young viewers, it was bittersweet for me. Night at the
Museum: Secret of the Tomb seems like a pretty harmless movie, and there are
two positive father-son relationships modeled. While it’s not great, it’s fun,
and parents might appreciate seeing Robin Williams one last time. This could be a good dad-son movie for kids
ages 7-11 or so.
Questions for
Discussion
How much direction should parents give their teenagers?
Should it be insight, or direction? At what points does it change?
Why is it hard for dads to express their feelings sometimes?
How do you think Larry did? How about Ahkmenrah’s dad?
Friday, December 26, 2014
Foster Care Videos - Giving Voice to Foster Care Alumni
Yasmin Mistry, a film animator and CASA volunteer, is
working to raise the platform of foster care alumni. Mistry is heading the
creation of a series of web videos where folks who’ve been through foster care
simply share their recollections. It’s kind of a series of brief, video
memoirs. They’re well-made, and certainly worth seeing. You can find them all
here: http://vimeo.com/fostercarefilm
Tuesday, December 23, 2014
The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies Adoption Movie Review
Smaug the Dragon left his horde of treasure to attack
Laketown; although he left the city in ruins, he was killed. Now, his treasure
lies unguarded. Three armies – dwarves, elves, and men – move to lay claim to
it, while two armies of orcs move in, desirous for the blood of the others, and
desiring to have the mountain in which the treasure is stored, because of its
strategic importance for future invasions.
The Adoption
Connection
Bilbo Baggins continues his journey, far from home, with a
company of dwarves who were once strangers to him, but who have now become
family.
For many kids in foster care, the importance of keeping
promises is heightened. One of the main plot-furthering devices in this film is
a formerly-trusted character’s failure to keep a promise. Bilbo challenges that
character with a very worthy question, “Is this treasure worth more than your
honor?”
Strong Points
The theme of not taking vengeance seems to be showing up in
a lot of movies I’ve reviewed recently. It’s here, too. Bard stops his
community from mobbing a crooked public servant.
As Bilbo prepares to leave the company of the dwarves, he
reveals that he carries an acorn from a significant place among their journeys.
He plans to plant it in his own garden, and says, “One day it’ll grow and I’ll
remember everything that happened, the good, the bad, and how lucky I am to
have made it home.” I really loved the thought.
Bilbo is willing to sacrifice much in order to save the
dwarves.
Challenges
As could be expected from the title (The Battle of the Five
Armies), there’s a lot of violence in this one. Some viewers have described it
as a movie-length battle sequence. There are beheadings, scenes of children in
peril, and the on-screen deaths of several loved characters.
Weak Points
One scene seems to have some trigger potential for both kids
and parents who have suffered loss. The dragon has cornered a man and is son.
He threatens the man, “Is that your child? You cannot save him from the fire.
He will burn.” Although the man does successfully defend his son, the scene
might seem too intense to viewers who’ve
experienced loss or threatened loss of a child.
Recommendations
There’s enough violence in this film (some of it involving children)
that makes it likely to be a poor choice for young children, and for other
viewers with pronounced history of exposure to violence. It could be a good fit
for parents and for teenagers – especially reflective teenagers who might join
with Bilbo in remembering where they’ve been, where they are going, and how far
they’ve come.
Questions for
Discussion
Bilbo will plant a tree to have a physical reminder of people
he’s journeyed with. What can your family use as a similar reminder?
Sunday, December 21, 2014
Into the Woods Adoption Movie Review
Characters from several fairy tales meet each other in this
year’s Disney Christmas release, Into the Woods. A baker and his wife head into
the woods in the hopes of reversing a curse which has left them infertile.
Little Red Riding Hood is there to feed her grandmother – and has to deal with
a wolf. Rapunzel is in the woods, hidden by the witch posing as her mother.
Cinderella runs through the woods to escape from a prince. Their stories all
intertwine, as the baker and his wife need something from each of them to
become parents.
The Adoption
Connection *Spoilers the rest of the way*
The baker and his wife are infertile. Their neighbor, a
witch, cursed their house to get revenge against the baker’s father, and
decreed that no child should be born in that house. She has changed her mind,
and now tells the baker and his wife what they must do to reverse the curse. Infertility
is a prevalent theme in the movie. The baker and his wife sing, “I wish for a
child.” When they learn that the baker is cursed with infertility, he
apologizes to his wife. The whole plot of the movie is driven by their attempts
to become parents. Eventually, the baker’s wife becomes pregnant – she swells
to 6 months size immediately upon the reversal of the curse. However, after
giving birth, the baker’s wife dies, and the baker is left to “be both father
and mother.”
Many characters experience the loss of a loved one. Jack’s
mother dies. So does the baker’s wife. Cinderella’s father has died long ago,
and she now seeks refuge from her cruel stepmother. Red Riding Hood is also
alone in the world. Together, the four of them become a family.
Strong Points
A family does form, in spite of the hardship that they’ve
experienced in their own individual lives.
One character encourages forgiveness over revenge. It also
encourages us to try to understand those we consider our enemies. One character
sings, “You are not alone. Someone is on your side. Someone else is not. While
we’re seeing our side, maybe we forgot that they are not alone.” I like that
message.
Challenges
There’s a lot of loss and death in this movie. It’s par for
the course in fairy tales, but it could be surprising to parents who think they’re
bringing their kids to a Christmas-day-released movie about Little Red Riding
Hood and friends. Here’s a quick rundown: The baker’s mother died. His sister
is hidden from him. He is cursed with infertility. His father abandoned him.
The baker’s wife dies after having an affair. Jack’s mother dies. Little Red
Riding Hood and her grandmother are eaten (but saved), Cinderella’s father has
died and left her with a cruel stepfamily. Her mother has died as well, and she
mourns regularly at a tree she planted in her mother’s honor. Rapunzel was
taken from her parents by a witch, later, the witch blinds Rapunzel’s
boyfriend.
People who have suffered through infertility may be
triggered by some scenes in this movie. A witch tells an infertile woman, “There’s
nothing cooking in that belly now, is there, and there never will be unless you
do as I say.” Later the witch says, “I decreed your family tree would always be
a barren one.” She tells the family that
if they obey her, “I guarantee a child, as perfect as child can be.” The witch
continually pressures them, asking “Do you want a child or not?” and
threatening the family that if they don’t obey her quickly, “The child you wish
for will never see the light of day.” The family engages in some unethical acts
in order to try to become parents. The baker struggles with some of this, but
his wife urges him, “If you can’t do it for yourself, can’t you at least do it
for me?”
As is traditional, Cinderella’s stepmother is horrible. She
is abusive to Cinderella, and even cuts off parts of her daughters’ bodies when
she believes it will be helpful. Rapunzel’s kidnapper-posing-as-mother cuts her
hair as a punishment.
Jack’s mother loves him, but she also hits him pretty
frequently.
In one scene, Little Red Riding Hood is confronted by the
wolf. Although he wants to eat her, the song he sings could also easily be
interpreted as very creepy. Some of those lyrics, “Look at that flesh, pink and
plump, hello little girl.” Red does wisely reflect on the situation later,
saying “I should have heeded (my mother’s) advice… Nice is different than good.”
The baker has a sister, but never finds out who she is. The
witch hid her away. The baker’s father abandoned him after his mother died.
A giantess’ husband dies while chasing Jack. She wants
revenge.
Recommendations
Into The Woods seems best-suited for teens and for adults.
It’s probably too scary for some kids, and could be very triggering to children
who have lost loved ones. It could also be rough for adult viewers who have
ongoing grief related to infertility.
Questions for
Discussion
What do you wish for?
To learn more about Jack and Rapunzel, Click over to my reviews
of Tangled and Jack the Giant Slayer.
Tuesday, December 16, 2014
Annie Adoption Movie Review
In perhaps the most anticipated and widely-promoted
adoption-relevant movie of the year, Sony Pictures revisits the story of Annie.
Played by Quvenzhané Wallis, who was so brilliant in the excellent film Beasts of the Southern Wild, Annie lives in New York City. She has been in foster care
for almost her whole life; she was found, abandoned with a note, outside of a
restaurant when she was only 4 years old. Currently, Annie lives with Miss
Hannigan, a bitter, disillusioned former singer who now takes care of foster
kids for income. Annie shares a room with three or four other girls, and Miss
Hannigan requires them to do much of the upkeep of her home.
When the foster home is visited by a caseworker, Annie finds paperwork which provides her with some of her case history. She heads out to the hall of records with the hopes of finding out who and where her birthparents are. However, She’s not able to find out very much.
On the way home, she is nearly hit by a car, but is saved by
Mr. Stacks, a wealthy entrepreneur who is in the middle of a dismal campaign
for mayor. Stacks’ advisor suggests that it would be good for his publicity if
he takes Annie in as a foster child, and so he does. He initially views her as
a bother, but comes to care for her. However, one of his advisors believes that
Annie has served her purpose by getting some good publicity for Stacks’
campaign, and begins to plot for her to leave.
Without Stacks’ knowledge, his advisor arranges for two
people to present themselves, pretending to be Annie’s parents. He has coached
them so that their ruse will convince Stacks and Annie. The ploy is successful,
and the imposter parents go away with Annie. She quickly learns that she has
been misled, and feels heartbreakingly betrayed by Stacks, whom she had come to
love. When Stacks learns about this foul play, he immediately pursues Annie’s
kidnappers, rescues her, and convinces her of his desire to commit to caring for
her for a lifetime.
How Does This Connect
to Adoption and Foster Care?
Annie is in foster care. Like many kids in care, she is
resilient. She maintains her optimism and cheerfulness in spite of
disappointments and unkindnesses that she experiences.
Annie misses and longs for her birthparents. She dreams
about them, and joins the other girls in her bedroom in a song imagining what
their birthparents are like. Annie holds out hope that she will find her
birthparents again. Every Friday, she waits all night by the restaurant where
she was abandoned, years ago. Annie is in foster care because she was
abandoned, and has no idea who or where her parents are. Most of the foster
kids that I’ve worked with do know who their parents are, and are often engaged
in visits and services geared towards reunification; that’s one disconnect
between the movie and the real-life experiences of most kids in foster care.
All the kids in Annie’s foster home hope to be adopted, but
some are discouraged. One says, “I’m almost 13, and no one wants teens.” Annie
extends hope that she will be adopted, “You will. We all will.”
It seems that Annie will ultimately be adopted by Stacks;
after she is rescued from her imposter parents, she and Stacks sing about
spending their lives together as a family. We never do get resolution about
where Annie’s actual birth parents are.
Strong Points
Annie is courageous, smart, hopeful and optimistic, like
many kids in foster care.
Stacks often refers to Annie as an orphan. Annie corrects
him, “I’m a foster kid, not an orphan. I have parents.” This is a helpful
distinction to make on such a large stage. Kids in foster care are aren’t
orphans, and the primary goal in foster care is almost always reunification.
It’s important for foster parents – and society! – to remember, embrace, and
support that. Early in her time with Stacks, she is asked whether he will adopt
her. She protests, “No, no, no! I have parents. This is just temporary!”
In one scene, Annie sees her reflection and her baby picture
at the same time. I can imagine that being a powerful image for anyone, but
especially for people who were raised without a full knowledge of their early
history.
Annie doesn’t know how to read; she explains that she has
been able to hide this so far. In fact, her explanation is heartbreaking, “It’s
not like the whole world wants a foster kid to begin with, and plus it’s
embarrassing. I didn’t want anyone to know.” When Stacks learns this, he gets
Annie a tutor; she responds very well, and quickly learns how to read. Many
kids in foster care struggle academically, but so often the cause is a lack of
time and opportunity to learn. Stacks asks how this can happen and someone
responds that in the system, “people get lost.” Foster kids are very often
smart, and can thrive when given the opportunity to do so. Annie captures that.
Stacks does a good job of joining with Annie when she is
ashamed of her inability to read. He tells her, “Everybody’s got something they
don’t want anyone to know.”
At one point, Annie is having a breakdown. Stacks tells her,
“You’ve gotta tell me what’s going on.” Annie responds, “No I don’t. You’re not
my dad.” Stacks responds well, and softens his tone, “No, I’m not your dad. I
know. But I’d like to know what’s going on.” This works, and Annie is able to
confide in him. Stacks also insists that Annie won’t need to leave, even when
they’re confronted with a problem. He says, “I don’t care what happened. You
stay here.”
Stacks eventually puts his care for Annie in front of his
ambitions of gain. He and Annie agree to tie a permanent knot, to make
themselves a family.
Challenges
Annie spends much of the film as a commodity, first for Miss
Hannigan and then for Mr. Stacks.
Eventually, both adults realize and turn from
their unhealthy attitudes towards Annie, and take a genuine interest in her.
It is very sad that Annie waits, several hours, every
Friday, for several years, outside of the restaurant where she was abandoned,
hoping that her parents would come back for her. It’s perhaps even sadder that
she is able to do this without her foster mother realizing. She has kept her
parents’ abandonment note, and reads it often, dreaming about them. When she sings
about them, she imagines that they are young, smart, and good, and says that
their only mistake “was giving up me.” She pleads, “Won’t you please come get
your baby?” Kids in foster care do think about their parents, and when there is
no accurate information, kids tend to dream up new information. Sometimes it’s
worse than realistic, sometimes it’s better than realistic, but it’s often
unrealistic – and sometimes their imagined reality is hidden from those that
are caring for them. This reminds me how important it is to provide kids with
age-appropriate, but honest, information about their stories all along.
When Annie finds her foster care record, she exclaims,
“Damn! I’ve been in a lot of homes.” Sad, but true, for many kids in foster care.
And it’s easy for parents and professionals to see a case file with lots of
homes and assume that the child is very challenging or has lots of problematic
behaviors. I’ve worked with many kids who were moved, not because of their
behaviors, but because of the foster parents’ issues. It’s almost never “just”
the kid. At one point, Annie thinks
that Stacks will have her leave. She packs her bags, and tells him “I’ve had a
lot of practice getting kicked out of places.” This could be a hard scene for
kids, but it could also be helpful because, by this scene, Stacks has come to
care about Annie and insists that she does not need to leave.
Stacks learns to love when Annie teaches him how. She shows
him the value of letting people into his heart. He says, “Annie gave me what I
didn’t know I needed.” It would be better, though, if Annie learned from, and
could depend on, her caretaker for emotional support, rather than vice versa.
Annie’s
sensitivity and emotional maturity is certainly a virtue, but it’s unfair to
her to have to use it to help an adult – who is in charge of her care – to
grow. Some kids in foster care have been expected previously to function in a
parental role for their younger siblings – sometimes, this leads to what is
sometimes called “parentified” behavior. For a while, Annie seems to be in a
parental role (psychoeducationally, at least,) over Stacks. Kids watching this
film should be reminded that really, it’s never a kid’s job to get a parent to
be loving and kind. That’s one thing that kids should be able to take for granted.
Annie keeps her desire for her birthparents secret from
Stacks because she doesn’t want to bother him. This is sometimes a dynamic in
adoptive families – and probably in foster families – where adoptees and foster
kids don’t want to seem disloyal to their new family by revealing their
retained loyalty for their first family.
Weak Points
After longing for her birthparents for the whole movie,
Annie seems to forget them once Stacks demonstrates his intention to adopt her.
While permanency can help a child move on with the life that they have, it is a
bit disappointing that we never do learn about Annie’s parents, and the only
“parents” we find for her are kidnappers. Her imposter parents basically kidnap
her. The fact that the reunion makes a mockery of Annie’s dreams, and is
covered and celebrated by the New York media, could be very troubling for young
viewers in foster care or adoptive families.
Although she eventually becomes kinder, Miss Hannigan is
generally a horrible foster mother, and she fits the unfortunate, untrue, but
often-believed stereotypes of foster parents. She’s in it only for the money.
She calls Annie “you little rat.” She belittles Annie, telling her that the
world doesn’t “need a smart-mouthed little rat,” and saying that because the world
doesn’t need Annie, that’s why Annie’s in foster care. She also tells her,
“You’re only here because I get $157 a week from the state for you.” She wakes
the girls by spraying them with water, and withholds food until they complete
their chores. She tells the children, “Clean like your life depends on it,
because it does.” Her cruelty has impacted the foster kids’ view of the world.
They sing, “Instead of kisses, we get kicked; no one cares for you a bit, when
you’re a foster kid.” Miss Hannigan cruelly kicks Annie out of her home,
telling her, “I told the inspector I don’t want to foster you any more. As of
next week, you’re somebody else’s problem… Not a who, a where. A group home.
Maybe that’ll teach you to open your mouth.” This scene could be very hard, and
possibly a trigger, for kids who have suffered from disrupted placements. Miss
Hannigan also cooperates in having Annie abducted by imposter parents.
The two social workers in the movie aren’t very good at
their jobs. The home inspector who visits Miss Hannigan leaves confidential
information laying on the floor, and doesn’t seem to realize that Miss Hannigan
is trying to seduce him. The administrator who serves Annie at the records
office is disinterested, dismissive and rude. Some real-life social workers in
the foster care system fit these stereotypes at times, but most of us actually
still care deeply about the kids and families we serve, and really desire to do
our work respectfully and competently. If Annie had been served by any of the
workers I supervise, I think she would have had a better experience. Perhaps the most concerning thing, though, is
the low level of supervision provided by the social workers. Miss Hannigan is a
horrible foster mother. Mr. Stacks’ motivations for fostering Annie were very
poor, and his “home study” was only superficial. The social worker even obeyed
when she was told she couldn’t examine a particular room. Annie was turned over
to imposter parents because the social services department didn’t examine them
thoroughly. These are troubling and unfortunate ideas for the general
population to have about how foster care works, and they’re (hopefully!)
generally untrue.
Recommendations
Annie’s positive attitude shines in the midst of
unrealistically and unhelpfully negative stereotypes of incompetent social
workers and greedy foster parents. The songs are upbeat and catchy, the film is
happy, and many of the kids in the theater where I screened it seemed to enjoy
it thoroughly. One girl danced throughout the credits. But I can also imagine
the film being challenging for kids who have had a rough experience in foster
care; it will be important for parents to tell them ahead of time that the film
features a very bad foster parent who is not like most foster parents. Kids who
have suffered from disrupted placements or who long to be adopted, or who long
for absent birthparents might find this film very hard – for those kids,
parents should probably screen it first before deciding whether to share it
with their kids.
Outside of those concerns, the movie is generally
family-friendly, and should be good for kids ages 8 and up. Annie does
exemplify several strengths of foster kids – she is hopeful, brave,
resourceful, and resilient.
Questions for
Discussion
Do you think Annie will still look for her birthparents now
that Stacks is going to adopt her?
How did Annie stay so hopeful, even in hard times?
Is it possible to be loyal to more than one family at the
same time?
What can you do to help foster kids (or a particular foster
kid) thrive? Would you consider mentoring, or serving as a Big Brother, Big
Sister, or CASA worker?
Activity idea: With your child, create an artistic
combination of your child’s current picture alongside one of the earliest
pictures you have of her. What a great introduction to a conversation about
“how much you’ve grown already!”
Tuesday, December 9, 2014
The Imitation Game
Alan Turing is a brilliant mathematician in World War 2
England. The English military is working to crack the code being used by the
Nazi forces, and they turn to scholars to help break the code. Turing is able
to do this, although his personal demeanor is abrasive to some. Through Turing’s
brilliance, the Nazis are defeated. Turing’s work was kept at the highest level
of secrecy.
Years later, local police discover that Turing has engaged
in homosexual behavior, which was illegal in England at the time. Turing was
mandated to undergo chemical castration, and he eventually committed suicide,
with his punishers unaware of the debt they owed him for helping England defeat
the Nazis.
The Adoption
Connection
Some adoptees may resonate with Turing’s feelings of being
an outsider. Many teenagers, adopted or not, will resonate with Turing’s
struggle to understand other people. Turing says at one point, “When people
talk, they don’t say what they mean. You’re supposed to know. I never do.” And
many teenagers who identify as homosexual may resonate with Turing’s fear of
being discovered and mistreated. Turing also experiences a significant loss in
his childhood, as a dear friend dies unexpectedly.
The film’s one repeated message is that “sometimes it’s the people
who no one imagines anything of, who are the people who can do what no one
imagines.” This is an encouraging message for young people who might feel
underestimated by others. As a child, Turing is told this and takes it to
heart. Years later, he passes it on to someone else. Good advice can be passed
on from generation to generation.
Even though Turing is hard to get along with, his co-workers
refuse to allow him to be mistreated by their boss. They stand with him,
affirming that his skills are vital to success.
The film tries to encourage viewers to accept differences in
others. A good question asked is, “If someone thinks differently than you, does
that mean that they’re not thinking?”
Challenges
Young (maybe 10-year-old) Turing loses a close friend,
unexpectedly, when his friend dies while on school holiday.
Weak Points
One character tells Turing, “You really are a monster.”
Turing, desperately fearing being left alone, commits
suicide. The fact that he is posthumously pardoned nearly 60 years after the
fact doesn’t mitigate the sense of tragedy.
Recommendations
Some teens might find this film interesting, but it’s
probably most likely to appeal to adults. It’s an interesting story that
effectively communicates the injustice with which Turing was treated.
Questions for
Discussion
What’s the best piece of advice or insight that you’ve ever
been given?
Why can it be painful to keep secrets?
Wednesday, December 3, 2014
Penguins of Madagascar Adoption Movie Review
Years ago, in Antarctica, three young penguins noticed an
abandoned egg. They broke away from a migrating group of penguins and bravely
went to rescue the egg, in spite of being told by another penguin, “we lose a
few eggs every year; it’s only nature.”
The rescued egg hatches into Private, a kind but clumsy
penguin who immediately greets the other penguins, “Hello. Are you my family?”
Ten years later, the penguins operate as a military unit of
sorts. They are captured by Dave, an octopus bitter at being displaced from a
zoo by the penguins, years earlier. Dave intends to capture all of the
zoo-living penguins in the world, and to use a Medusa Serum to make the
penguins ugly and deranged. A team of secret agents called the North Wind is
aware of Dave’s plans, and works with the penguins to thwart them.
The Adoption
Connection
Private is, more or less, the adopted brother of Rico,
Kowalski and Skipper. He quickly identifies them as family. One of the penguins
explains to him, clumsily, “You don’t have a family and we’re all going to die,”
before actually beginning to function as family. Another penguin corrects the
first one, “You know what, kid, you’ve got us, and we’ve got each other. If
that’s not a family, I don’t know what is.”
Strong Points
Private does have a loving, loyal family in his penguin
brothers.
Challenges
Private is loved by his adoptive penguin siblings, but they
mostly nurture him and value him as cute. Private, more than anything, wants to
“be a valued and productive member” of the family, but they don’t seem to take
him seriously for much of the film. They even refer to him as their mascot. And
ultimately, Private’s cuteness is a key factor in what allows him to save the
day. Ultimately, though, the other penguins affirm, “Looks don’t matter. It’s
what you do that counts, and look at what you did. You are the most meaningful
and valued member of the team.”
Dave has turned villainous because he felt unloved. He wants
other people (well, penguins) to feel how he felt. The penguins actually treat
him rather unkindly. I watched this film with a nine-year-old who commented
afterwards that, if the penguins had been nice to Dave, Dave might have been
nice back to them. It’s a valid point. At the end of the film, it seems that
Dave will be liked by a little girl, and a penguin does express, “I hope you
find happiness.”
Recommendations
Penguins of Madagascar is a good fit for kids ages 5-11. The
penguins are, more or less, an adoptive family, but their adoptive status isn’t
part of the plot; it’s just part of life. The movie also does open a way for
parents to talk with their kids about some difficult feelings – feeling unvalued
(like Private) or unliked (like Dave).
Questions for
Discussion
What makes a family, a family?
Private felt like he wasn’t valued as a member of the
family. Have you ever felt that way? What changed it for private? What changes
it for you?
Have you ever felt like Dave, like people don’t like you?
What was that like? Did it get better?
Tuesday, December 2, 2014
Labor Day Adoption Movie Guide
Adele is a depressed, single mother raising her young
teenage son Henry in late-1980’s rural New
Hampshire . While they are out shopping, Frank, a
bloodied man, confronts Henry and uses Henry to impose on Adele for a ride.
Once in Adele’s car, Henry demands that she take him to her own home. He
shortly reveals that he has escaped from prison, where he was held for murder,
although he maintains that the killings were accidental. Frank remains in their
home for several days, hiding from the police. He quickly becomes part of the
family, becoming a father figure to Henry and a husband figure to Adele. Frank
and Adele plan to escape together to Canada with Henry, and to start a
new life. Regardless of what the future holds, Henry’s and Adele’s lives are
changed by their relationships with this dangerous stranger.
The Adoption
Connection
Frank does develop a sense of caring for Henry, and Henry
bonds to Frank very quickly. Many kids in foster care do seek to bond very
quickly with adults who are kind to them, and this isn’t always safe.
Positive Elements
Frank does not live up to all of the stereotypes that might
be held of an escaped convicted murderer. He is gentle to a boy with
disabilities and patient and affirming to Henry. As his story is gradually revealed,
Frank is shown to be not quite as dangerous as he initially seemed.
Challenges
A girl suggests that it’s very easy to lie to authorities to
get unliked adults in trouble.
A series of miscarriages led to the breakup of Adele’s first
marriage.
Negative Elements
There are some very disturbing aspects to this film. Frank
uses Henry to coerce Adele. Frank ties Adele up on two occasions. Frank and
Adele both encourage Henry to lie and to keep secrets. There are lots of
problems with Frank’s relationship with Adele.
Frank and Adele intend to have Henry leave all of his
friends behind without even a farewell, because it suits their needs better.
One character strikes a physically disabled child.
Recommendations
While there is a benefit in challenging stereotypes, there
are a lot of problems with Labor Day. Abusive relationships, infertility-fueled
infidelity, scenes which threaten and sometimes depict prolonged domestic
violence, and the negative ways in which Frank attempts to manipulate Henry are
all very likely to be triggering or traumatic for some viewers. This one is
probably a “skip” for most viewers, and a particularly risky choice for kids
and most teens.
Questions for
Discussion
Have any adults ever tried to make you do things you thought
were wrong?
How can you tell whether someone is safe or dangerous to be
around?
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