Closure Interview in Adoptive Families Magazine

I recently had the chance to interview Bryan and Angela Tucker from the documentary, Closure. The interview is in this month's issue of Adoptive Families magazine, and it's also posted on their website. Check out the interview here, and also check out my review of the documentary!

Gravity Adoption Movie Review

Gravity recently took home several Oscars at the 2014 Academy Awards, including Best Directing, Best Cinematography, Best Original Score, and Best Visual Effects. It was also a nominee for Best Picture. It’s a visually beautiful film with impressively convincing views of Earth from space. It’s also a very emotional film. Gravity is largely a one-woman performance as first-time astronaut Dr. Ryan Stone, played very powerfully by Sandra Bullock, is left alone in space after a debris storm kills all of her companions. Using limited resources, Stone has to find the way back to Earth – but first, she has to find the will to live.

The Adoption Connection

While Gravity is not an adoption movie, there are some themes that might be relevant to families touched by adoption.  Ryan shares about a daughter that she lost (to death). This could be painful to parents who have lost a child in a similar way, but also to parents who have relinquished a child for adoption, parents who have lost children to foster care, parents who have experienced failed adoptive placements, and parents who have experienced miscarriages. It’s encouraging that Ryan uses her love for her daughter to fuel her own will to survive.

Ryan floats untethered through space. For her, it is uncomfortable and terrifying. She is profoundly alone, and is unsure if she will ever be safe again. This reminds me of Dennis, the young boy in Martian Child (click here for that review), who felt so insecure in any of his attachments that he felt like he must be an alien.

Ryan’s sole companion sacrifices greatly in order to ensure her safety. This reminds me of the sacrifice that Jor-El and Lara make to save their son in Man of Steel (click here for that review). In this instance, though, the beneficiary of the sacrifice is able to voice their opinion. Ryan shouts that she does not want her companion to sacrifice for her, but he explains, “it’s not really your choice.” Shortly after this, Ryan is floating, curled up and unconscious in a spaceship’s round chamber, being supported by some cords. It suggests new life for Ryan in the wake of the sacrifice made for her.

Positive Elements

Ryan never gives up hope, in spite of what seem likely to be insurmountable challenges.

Ryan survives through a combination of her own efforts, her will, the guidance of others, sacrifices by others, and providence or luck. There’s no one “sole” factor that results in her victory; each factor was essential. Life is complex. this film captures that truth.

Challenges

Ryan is alone for much of the movie, but she does have one companion who cares for her in a time of danger. That character ultimately makes a large sacrifice for Ryan which preserves her life, but keeps her alone.

In remembering life on Earth, Ryan shares about her four-year-old daughter who died in an accident. Her love for her daughter fuels her will to survive. However, Ryan reminiscing about her lost child could be difficult or painful for viewers who have relinquished children to adoption, and for people who have suffered miscarriage or the death of a child.  

There are some very, very raw emotions. Ryan acknowledges that she will likely die today. She is out of fuel, adrift, and alone.

Negative Elements

There are some disturbing visual images. One character’s face has been sucked away by the vacuum of space; it is shown suddenly, and could scare some kids. Also, in some scenes where Ryan is spinning through space, some viewers might experience something akin to motion sickness, especially if viewing it in 3D. Or maybe that just happened to me.

Recommendations

Gravity might be both too intense and too slow for school-age viewers. Teens could appreciate the acting and the visual effects, but the film might find its best appreciation from adult viewers. As you watch the film, consider the challenges that have been present in your life – and the lives of those you love – related to adoption. Have you ever felt lost and adrift? Are you still feeling that way? What will it take to regain a sense of stability?

Questions for Discussion

Have you ever felt untethered? How did you regain a sense of control over your life?

Ryan’s survival resulted from a combination of her will, her efforts, the guidance of others, the sacrifice of others, and some providence or good luck. Which of these factors has been the most important in your life so far?

Ryan’s life was endangered because of unintended consequences of things that other people did. She wasn’t responsible for the challenges she faced, but still had to respond to them in order to survive. What have been the events that have impacted your life? How have you responded?

If You Wouldn't Say it About a Boob Job...

Have you seen this yet? It isn't perfect (I think that some of the questions he suggests are still none of the asker's business...), but it is well-done, humorous, and makes some good points rather tactfully.



IF YOU WOULDN'T SAY IT ABOUT A BOOB JOB... from Rain City Church on Vimeo.

Adventure Time Escape From the Citadel Adoption Review - Birthfather Abandonment

I just watched my first episode of Adventure Time. The Cartoon Network series centers around a boy named Finn and his dog, Jake.  Season 6 began on Monday with a two-part episode comprised of “Wake Up” and “Escape from the Citadel.”

 Finn has recently learned that his father is alive. Finn was abandoned as a baby. He has learned that his father is at The Citadel, a high-security prison. He imagines that his father is the warden there.

Finn takes great risks to get to the Citadel; when he arrives, he finds that his father is one of the prisoners. 

Image via Rebloggy

His father appears completely disinterests in Finn. He asks Finn for help in escaping, initially ignoring the news that Finn in his son. Later, he uses the family relationship to manipulate Finn into helping him further.

Finn finally asks his father, “Why’d you abandon me when I was a little baby?” His father brushes off the question, answering, “I’m a funny guy. It was a long time ago. Maybe you left me.”

Finn’s father shortly abandons Finn again. Although Jake counsels Finn that his father is “a loser” and “not worth it,” Finn tries to chase him, but his father desperately tries to escape, ultimately costing Finn an arm, and nearly his life.

When Finn is rescued, he sits with two close friends who comfort him by their presence.

The show ends as another newborn character is abandoned at the doorstep of a nearly-divorcing couple. 

The wife exclaims, upon seeing the baby, “This changes everything.”

From what I’ve read, Adventure Time is an intelligent show which is well-loved by kids and adults. Not too many cartoons (none?) have explored a character’s recovery from the very real emotional pain of perceived (or in this case, actual) parental abandonment.

I could see this episode being helpful for some kids who have experienced abuse or neglect. It could give them permission to acknowledge their love for the parent who abused them, their sadness at that parent’s absence, and the wrongness of the parent’s actions.

For some kids in foster care – and for some foster families and adoptive families - the episode could reinforce fears and overly negative stereotypes of birthparents – and particularly of birth fathers. The episode is currently available for viewing on iTunes.

Do you or your kids watch Adventure Time? If they saw this episode, what was their reaction? What was yours?

Questions for Discussion

How do you think Finn felt when he learned that his father was alive?

What did he imagine of his father? How did he feel when his expectations were unmet?

In what ways is your story like Finn’s? In what ways is it different?  

·         Thanks to Dan Portnoy for recommending the episode.

Almost Home Adoption Movie Guide

Almost Home is a short animated film that has played in front of (so far) Mr. Peabody and Sherman and Rio 2. It’s also a short introduction to Home, a film that is slated for a November 2014 release.

 

In Almost Home, a community of small aliens travel through space looking for a new home “Where we will forever be safe from our enemies.” The leader proclaims on multiple occasions that they have arrived home. However, danger soon resurfaces, and the group tearfully moves on in search of a new place to call home.  The short film ends as the aliens set their sights on Earth.

How Does This Connect to Foster Care and Adoption?

I’ve seen Almost Home twice, since I reviewed both of the movies it was paired with. It’s a cute, quick, and not-very-deep picture of a group of people travelling from potential home to potential home in search of a permanent place to be safe. I couldn’t help but see a parallel to the experience of many kids in foster care, who are also often shuttled from home to home.

Reflections

Almost Home is intended as an introduction to an upcoming film. The feature film doesn’t seem likely to have the same intense dynamic of rapid home-to-home moves. The short does, though. Some kids may relate to the sadness, poignant frustration, and despairing resignation that the aliens express when yet another home turns out to be unviable. The short ends with the aliens hopefully moving toward one more possibility.

There is one significant difference between the experiences of the aliens in this film and the experience of kids in foster care: the aliens appear to be a multigenerational community travelling together. Perhaps kids travelling through foster care with their siblings could relate to this dynamic. Also, kids who are adopted from foster care may struggle when there are changes to the stability they have come to trust – moves, school changes, and changes in family composition can be particularly challenging times for some kids.

Almost Home is so short that you might miss it while you’re in line for popcorn. If you and your kids do see it, though, it might be a good idea to have a quick check-in conversation about stability and the sense of safety and permanency that hopefully permeates your home.

Recommendation

Almost Home seems geared towards kids who would want to see Mr. Peabody and Sherman and Rio 2, so probably ages 5-9. Kids of that age who have been in foster care will probably resonate with the emotions voiced and shown by the characters. I can imagine some kids being blindsided by the unexpected themes of loss and instability. Some of those kids might be consoled by the aliens’ hope at the end of the film.

Questions for Discussion after the Film

How do you think the aliens felt as they moved from home to home? Have you ever felt that way?

How do you think the aliens feel as they are moving toward Earth?

What makes a place a good home?

Want to Watch it Now?

Rio 2 Adoption Movie Review - Crosscultural Adoption, Reunification, and Merging Cultures

Blu and Jewel were, as far as they knew, the only two Spix’s Macaws left in the world. They paired and now have three young children. They rejoice in their love for each other, and they enjoy life, with Jewel sharing elements of her upbringing in the rainforest and Blu sharing elements of his domestic lifestyle. Then, Jewel finds out that her family is still alive in the rainforest. She, Blu, their children, and two friends take flight to reunite with Jewel’s family. Jewel is excited. Blu is nervous; will they accept him?

As this reunification is happening, evil antienvironmentalists try to destroy the rainforest, and a villainous cockatoo tries to extract revenge against Blu.

How Does This Relate to Adoption?

There are so many angles to view this film from.

Blu had thought that he and Jewel were alone. Now that she has family to reunify with, he questions his importance to her and wonders whether he still has a place in her life. He asks, “It wasn’t all bad, was it?”

Jewel is excited to reunify with her family and is especially elated for her father to meet her children. She tells Blu, “we need to connect our kids to our roots.”

Blu’s and Jewel’s children are excited for the trip.

Blu’s friends are cautious about the danger that Blu may be entering.

Jewel’s family and community are wonderfully happy to have her back, and enlist her in the life of the community.

Jewel’s father is delighted to see Jewel, pleased beyond measure to learn that he is a grandfather, and rather unimpressed by Blu.

Blu and Jewel were both (more or less) adopted by humans. Jewel’s family strongly distrusts humans. Jewel’s father is mortified that Blu actually likes humans. This film surprisingly touches on the interplay of crosscultural adoption and racism/prejudice. Blu is eventually accepted by his father-in-law, and his father-in-law does eventually see that not all humans are evil.

Powerful Moments

Jewel and her group find Jewel’s community – and her father. She wonders why no one ever found her. Her father tearfully explains, “I had you under my wing and you were gone. I’ve looked everywhere for you.” They express how they’ve missed each other. Her father says, “It’s OK now. Daddy has you.” They embrace. He praises who she has become, “My little girl, all grown up, so beautiful, just like your mother.” He finds out that he’s a grandfather and bursts into song, embracing all of his newfound family, except for Blu. The community throws a huge party to celebrate their return. Blu feels somewhat displaced, especially when a former boyfriend of Jewel’s seems to express interest in her.

Positive Elements

When Jewel goes to reunite with her family, she is not alone. She is accompanied by her children, her husband, and their friends. This sense of a shared journey reminds me of the documentary Closure. Adoption reunifications can be scary and emotionally-charged events. Having the support of those who know and love you means a lot.

Challenging Points

Now that Jewel and Blu have found the tribe of Spix’s Macaws, will they return to Blu’s home, or stay in Jewel’s childhood home. Jewel and Blu do not seem to easily agree on this point, and Jewel’s family pressures them to stay. It’s easy to see how Blu feels displaced. I wonder if Jewel ever felt similarly displaced while adjusting to life outside of the rainforest. Jewel’s father disapproves of the “city” aspects of Blu’s lifestyle and basically orders him to change. At one point, Blu expresses that he will never fit in and wonders if he should just go home. Jewel does not understand him. She says that “maybe this is home,” and criticizes him for thinking only of himself.  At the same time, when Jewel’s family suggests that she leaves Blu, she affirms, “Blu is my family and I’m not leaving him behind.”

 

The issues of mixed emotions regarding reunification could be confusing to the young children this film is geared towards.

Weak Points

Some small, cute animals are eaten to humorous effect. The film is set in the rainforest, so it does make sense, but little kids might cry.

Recommendations

Rio 2 is a mildly-entertaining film that does seem likely to please young viewers, maybe ages 5-9. It’s surprising that such a kid flick has such wide applicability to issues of adoption reunification, but it does. It could open the way for some worthwhile conversations.

 

Questions for Discussion

If your family participates in reunification, how do you imagine blending the two cultures? How do you balance a sense of belonging between the two families?

When you think of reunification, which character do you most strongly relate with? How would you have felt in their position?

Finding Vivian Maier Adoption Movie Review

Finding Vivian Maier is the story of a reserved, quirky nanny who secretly took a hundred thousand photographs during her life. Her photographs were posthumously discovered and published. Through her pictures, we are given a look into everyday life in the middle of the twentieth century. Documentarian John Maloof is inspired by the photographs and tries to discover who Vivian was.

It turns out that she was a complex person. Perhaps influenced by her own past, she was fearful of men and alternated between being tender and abusive to the children in her care.

The Adoption Connection

Finding Vivian Maier reminds me of foster care. As a live-in nanny, Vivian provided regular care for the children of others.

Also, the nature of the documentary – trying to discover who someone truly is from the evidence you’ve been able to collect – reminds me of the work I’ve done in foster care and adoption. When I wrote homestudies, my job was to develop and convey thorough knowledge and assessment of a family’s personalities, history and lifestyle. Other social workers are charged with a similar task for the children. And still other social workers are responsible for trying to place foster children with families that will be able to meet their specific needs. I notice the importance of thorough assessment (though not vilification) when I see how Vivian’s painful past impacted her care of the children.

Positive Elements

People are interesting. Vivian Maier seems to have gone unnoticed for much of her life. This documentary opens her life story and shows that she is a fascinating and complex person. It allows for a viewer to take a well-rounded view of her, and to accept her as a person, rather than to view her as a categorizable collection of her most prominent quirks. Included in that holistic view is the thought that people’s behaviors are impacted by their life experiences. A holistic view of a person allows for love, grace, patience, forbearance and compassion – and certainly is helpful in relationships between foster/adoptive parents, birth family members, adoptees and foster kids.

Challenges

 

One interviewee notes that Vivian “really wanted to be part of their family,” but expresses that it didn’t happen. That’s pretty sad, and it might resonate with teens in foster care. Vivian had deep emotional needs which went unseen by those closest to her. That seems likely to be true in many foster families, and in many families touched by adoption – and that’s why it’s so important to initiate open and honest communication in foster and adoptive families.  

One interviewee describes Vivian engaging in what would have to be classified as child abuse; this could be a trigger for some viewers.

Finding Vivian Maier might be a hard film to find.

Negative Elements

One interviewee mentions that Vivian “might have been offended” that the documentarian was unpacking her life. I do see how this film could be seen as a violation of her privacy. That is uncomfortable, upon reflection.

Recommendations

Finding Vivian Maier will appeal to some adults. It’s a well-made documentary with a good musical score, and it provides an intriguing look into a unique and complex life. It isn’t aimed at kids or teenagers.

Questions for Discussion

What does it mean to know someone fully?

What will you leave behind when you die? How will people know who you were?

Whose behaviors have left you scratching your head lately? How can you respond to the behavior without vilifying the person?

Ernest & Celestine Adoption Movie Review

Mice live below the city, and bears live above ground. Mice are scared of bears, and believe that bears will eat them. Bears are scared of mice, because… well, I guess just because mice are scary to them. They probably wouldn’t have any interaction with each other, except for the fact that mice often lose their teeth, and bear teeth make great replacements. Young mice are sent above ground to scavenge replacement teeth. One young mouse, Celestine, gets trapped above ground. She is discovered by a bear named Ernest who has just awoken from hibernation. He is very poor and very hungry. Through quick thinking, Celestine becomes his first friend instead of his first meal, but neither the society of mice nor the society of bears are prepared to accept their friendship.

How is This Relevant to Adoption? 

*** Spoiler alert ***

Although Ernest and Celestine mostly have a friendship, at the end of the film, Ernest recounts the story of his relationship with Celestine, and he edits it to make it sound like an adoption story. When viewed retrospectively as an adoption story, the film seems to show two cultures opposing a crosscultural adoption, but finally coming to accept it when they see that it helps society rather than hurting. Celestine appears to be raised in an orphanage. She is ostracized for being a friend to Ernest. Although he tries to send her away, she says, “I’m all alone. Nobody loves me and I don’t have a home.” He eventually embraces her. Ernest and Celestine eventually develop a mutually nurturing relationship. It’s not a perfect picture of adoption, but it is nurturing, cute and heartwarming.

Ernest and Celestine each express that their desire is to live with each other forever.

*** End Spoiler

Strong Points

Ernest and Celestine are able to develop a mutually nurturing, positive friendship with each other, even though they are from different cultures.

Eventually, we get an understanding of the fears Ernest and Celestine have of each other. They have nightmares about each other. Ernest fears that Celestine will drain his resources. Celestine fears that she cannot trust Ernest.  But each character comforts the other, and offers the reminder, “I am not your nightmare.”

Challenges

Ernest and Celestine eventually win societal permission for their friendship, but only after they perform acts of heroism.

When Ernest initially finds Celestine, she is in a trash can.

Weak Points

One character briefly appears likely to eat another. A grandmotherly figure tries to scare children in to obedience with nightmarish bedtime stories.

Recommendation

Ernest and Celestine seems to be a generally kid-friendly film. It is animated in a style that reminds me of fairy tales. It is a heartwarming story, and scenes of peril are quite mild and frightening moments are limited to only a few.   It’s possible that some young children will be scared by the grandmother-figure’s bedtime stories. The crosscultural adoption connection is both vague and positive, which makes me think that triggers are unlikely, but that children may be able to take positive messages away from the film. This is one of my recent favorites. It was also one of the films nominated for Best Animated Feature in this year's Oscars, along with Frozen, The Croods, Despicable Me 2, and The Wind Rises.

Questions for Discussion after the movie

Have you ever been teased for having friends or family who are different from you in some ways? How do you feel about the teasing? What parts of the teasing are untrue?

Why were Ernest and Celestine scared of each other? Were their fears true? Have you ever been scared of something that turned out to not be true?

How would you tell your own adoption story? Spend some time writing and/or illustrating it together.

Interested in Ernest and Celestine? Check out the trailer here:

Want to know when more movie reviews are posted? Like Adoption At The Movies on Facebook or Follow Us on Twitter.  

Visitors Adoption Movie Guide

Godfrey Reggio’s Visitors is a wordless, black-and-white film. It’s more meditative than it is entertaining, but I think that’s OK. Philip Glass’ soaring but somewhat looping music creates a pensive and relaxing atmosphere for Reggio’s long, slow-motion close-ups of human faces. There’s not much of a plot, so what I’m sharing here are the thoughts and questions I had while watching the film.

 -          The subjects are entranced by something off camera, and seem unaware that their reactions are being filmed. So many times, we are self-aware, but what are we, when we’re not aware of what we are?

-          There are so many faces. So many people. And each person has a story, and value. So do you. So do I. And yet, so often we lose sight of the awesome creativity and wonderful depths in each person we encounter. Sometimes we even lose sight of it in ourselves. There are so many people in close proximity to us that we don’t know, and as unrealistic as it is, I want to know everyone’s story. “It’s impossible to know someone fully, and then not love them” – Ender’s Game, paraphrased. 

 

-          Many children are featured. Who will they grow up to be? Why do some of us grow up to become untrustworthy?

-          Plants, people, and water look lively and animated in time-lapse videos. Manmade structures look stagnant.

-          We’re really pretty when we smile.

-          I wish I spent more time interacting with people, and less time interacting with technology.

-          We can look down and out, or cheerful and thriving – but we’re all people, no more, no less. But we each have been given the creative potential to shape the world by creating kindness in our relationships to others.

-          We probably have more “needs” than we need to.

 

How This Connects to Adoption

Visitors doesn’t really have an obvious plot, so, I guess it doesn’t obviously connect to adoption. Here are some thoughts that I had, though:

-          Everyone has a story.

-          Everyone has the creative potential to shape themselves, at least to some extent.

-          It’s easy to feel alone, even when unknowingly surrounded by people who have similar stories to your own.

Positive Aspects

People are interesting.

Negative Aspects

The film is probably too artsy to hold the interest of kids or teenagers, and limited distribution might make it difficult for adults to find. Also, I think the film really needs to be seen in a theater; it wouldn’t translate well to a home screen.

Questions for Reflection

Who do you see, every day, that you don’t know very well?

What don’t you know about yourself that you would like to know?

If you could grow in any way, what would it be?

If you could create one thing this week what would it be? 

Universal Studios Despicable Me Minion Mayhem Ride Features Adoption Celebration

Gru's Family Tree - with a colorful kid-eye level addition

Despicable Me: Minion Mayhem at Universal Studios Hollywood

I’ve never reviewed a theme park ride before.   Universal Studios Hollywood will be opening Minion Mayhem to the public on April 11. The ride features characters from Despicable Me and Despicable Me 2, and features a short mini-movie where riders frequently interact with the girls Gru adopted, Margot, Edith and Agnes. After escaping various perilous situations (with help from Gru,) the girls and the riders all arrive at a balloon-filled surprise party that Gru planned to celebrate the anniversary of his adoption of the girls.

If you live in or near Los Angeles and have adopted a young child, this ride might be a fun way to celebrate the anniversary of your child joining your family.

If your family has been touched by adoption in a painful way, this ride might be unexpectedly challenging, although the word “adoption” is never mentioned.

Think you'll go?

Somewhere Between Adoption Movie Review

Linda Goldstein Knowlton adopted her young daughter from China. She wants to provide her daughter with a culturally sensitive upbringing, and to do this she has sought out the stories of several young women who were adopted into the United States from China. One of the adoptees referred to feeling neither completely Chinese nor completely American, nor Chinese and American, but as a child stuck somewhere between two countries. Somewhere Between is a documentary which focuses on the stories and experiences of four teenagers.

The Adoption Connection

Somewhere Between directly relates to the international adoption of girls into the United States from China. It also focuses on issues relevant to all adoptions – issues of identity, birth family issues, reunification, birth family’s reasons for adoption, and issues of finding community connected to adoption.

Positive Elements

There’s a lot of good in this one.

Linda provides an excellent model for a parent adopting cross-culturally. She acknowledges that her daughter “will have so many questions that I won’t be able to answer.” She asks, “How will I help her build a strong sense of identity when there are so many missing pieces?” Then, committed to striving to meet her daughter’s needs, Knowlton reaches out for information and finds community. She’s not afraid of admitting what she doesn’t know, and isn’t willing to make excuses to continue not knowing.

 

Knowlton’s subjects have participated in the documentary with honesty and candor. One speaks of “always being seen, and never blending in.” One acknowledges that it is difficult to think about openness without worrying that either mother might feel unwanted. Different adoptees present different desires regarding openness and information. Knowlton has created a balanced perspective of international adoption. Some opponents of international adoption are presented, and share their concerns that orphanages do not operate ethically (one mentioned that orphanages will often claim to have lost documents in fires – a claim repeated by the orphanage in Philomena.) At the same time, the documentary captures the story of a young girl who was being neglected in foster care in China, but who was able to thrive with special attention. An adoptee expresses the value of adoptees remembering what they’ve been through, “even if at times it might be painful.”

One adoptee returns to China regularly and tries to discover which Chinese people group she belongs to. It’s a powerful reminder that culture goes deeper than just knowing one’s country of origin – there are different groups and cultures within nations. One shop keeper commented that she looks like she belongs to the Dai group; the adoptee explains, “She says I look Dai, so now I’m Dai.”

The adoptees interviewed have processed their adoption differently, but all seem to be thriving.

One adoptee seeks for – and finds – her birth family, and is able to learn the story of her adoption from their perspective. It is both a particularly sad story and yet the meeting seems to provide healing. The adoptee is given a Chinese name by her birth father, which is particularly meaningful to her.

Adoptees are advised to seek out their siblings as soon as possible, because records are lost, and that could render reunification much more difficult.

Adoptees confront stereotypes they face as persons of Asian origin.

The film encourages, and exemplifies, open discussion about adoption. One person summarizes, “you take adoption with you your whole life. You can try to run from it, but it runs faster than you.”

The film challenges the use of the term “abandoned.”

Adoptees assert that they were not overlooked by God.

One adoptee acknowledges the value of a supportive community of other adoptees, “Meeting other adoptees helped me understand how others feel about it.”

Someone expresses, “in an ideal world, I’d have both countries and both sets of parents.”

In a companion documentary packaged with Somewhere Between, we see how differently people can process adoptions. For some, it’s a primary identifier; for others, it’s part of their identity, but they view many other identifiers as more central to their self-concept.

The concept of “color-blindness” is challenged, and one adoptee makes the point that culture and race are unique from each other, and that both are important in a person’s experience of life.

Challenges

It could be painful for some viewers to be confronted with the film’s portrayal of way in which females are differently (and perhaps less) valued in China than males. A common theme is that the girls were relinquished because of their gender. In one community, women are not allowed to be taught written language.

Recommendations

Somewhere Between seems well-loved by many in the adoption community. Angela and Bryan Tucker from Closure suggested it as a resource for families wanting to expand their understanding of crosscultural adoption. Some of my colleagues have also recommended it to me. After watching it, I immediately shared it with the social workers that I supervise. There’s so much good material for thought and conversation in Somewhere Between. It seems like a good fit for all adoptive families, especially for adoptive families who have adopted girls. The issues of identity, reunification, and wondering why they were relinquished are important to many people touched by adoption. Parents who have relinquished a child to adoption may see their own grief reflected in the grief of the birthfather shown in this film; like the reunion in the film, the film itself could be both painful and conducive to healing.

 

Questions for Discussion

When someone is adopted, do they become fully part of the adoptive family? Do they remain part of the birthfamily? Are they fully both? Or are they somewhere between?

Which story did you resonate with the most?

Would you be open to reunification during your child’s teenage years? Earlier?