Friday, March 29, 2013
Adoption Movie Guide: Admission
Portia Nathan is an admissions officer at Princeton
University. Clarence, the Dean of
Admissions, is intending to step down, and Portia is competing with Corinne for
his position. Portia is invited by her old college classmate, John Pressman, to
visit a new, innovative school of which he is the founder. Although she initially
dismisses the idea, she later accepts the invitation in an effort to appear
innovative. After all, she wants Clarence’s job. John soon reveals one of his
reasons for inviting her – he knows that she placed a child for adoption, and
believes that one of his students is her son. Portia initially dismisses this, but begins
thinking about it. When her boyfriend leaves her, she begins thinking more about
Jeremiah, who may be her son. She becomes increasingly invested in Jeremiah’s
success, breaks rules to get him accepted into Princeton, and then learns that
he is not her son, after all. She visits an adoption agency and requests to be
put in contact with her actual son; the agency takes her information, and
eventually sends her a letter saying that her son is not yet ready to meet her.
As the film ends, Portia accepts that her situation isn’t all bad.
How is This Relevant
to Adoption?
Adoption
touches many lives in this film. Portia placed her son for adoption. She comes
to believe that Jeremiah is her son, and has awkward interactions with him and
his adoptive parents. When she does directly tell Jeremiah that she is his
mother, he explains that she is not – he has already found his birthmother, but
hadn’t told his adoptive parents because he didn’t want to hurt them. Portia
tries unsuccessfully to establish contact with her son. John Pressman travels
the world doing good; he has adopted Nelson from Uganda, explaining that Nelson’s
mother and uncle died, and Nelson needed a family.
Strong Points
John
introduces Nelson as “my son.” He leaves it to sixth-grade Nelson to explain, “I’m
adopted. I was born in Uganda.” John respects Nelson’s story here, but also has
helped Nelson cultivate an acceptance and comfort with his own story. John also
describes his adoption of Nelson as “the best thing I’ve ever done.” He
graphically demonstrates that he cares about Nelson more than he cares about
his accomplishments.
John
has been expecting Nelson to travel the world doing good. Nelson is able to
express that he wants geographical stability. Although Nelson briefly runs away
to make his point, John gets it. He apologizes to Nelson, and backs out of a
planned move to Ecuador in order to provide Nelson with the stability he
craves.
Challenges
One character asks Portia, “you never wanted kids?” This is a powerful and painful question to people who’ve struggled with infertility, and is also quite painful to Portia. Her response is a quiet, sarcastic, “I love that question.”
Portia’s discomfort with John’s discussion of adoption makes a lot of sense once we know Portia’s backstory. Some viewers will certainly relate.
John
is presented as a world-travelling do-gooder. It’s possible to interpret his
adoption of Nelson as yet another charitable deed. This interpretation runs the
risk of Nelson feeling indebted to John, but John doesn’t seem likely to
encourage that. John acknowledges that
his friends thought he’d bail on Nelson, but John ignored their concerns. His
friends seem to have been wrong.
Portia
discloses that she hid her pregnancy from her mother.
Portia’s
mother acknowledges that she conceived Portia with a stranger, by mistake. Portia
is upset that she can never know who her father is. Her mother, typically a
tough woman, tearfully apologizes for lying to Portia.
Jeremiah
learned that he was adopted during grade school. He believes that he was “supposed
to be the son my parents tried to have on their own.” He has struggled with
questions of identity, and devotes himself to reading biographies of other
people in hopes of finding out who he is. In his quest to understand himself, he
also seeks out his birthmother. Much of his search has happened in secret; he
explains that he didn’t want to hurt his adoptive parents. Many adoptees will
relate to Jeremiah’s fear of hurting others’ feelings.
Nelson
asks Portia, “Are you gonna be my mom?” and then quickly adds, “Just messing
with you.”
After
reaching out through an adoption agency to contact her son, Portia receives
word that he is not “yet” ready to meet her. John likens this to being on a “wait
list,” and Portia declares that everything is “OK.” While it’s optimal for
Portia to be at peace with her life, her arrival at peace may be a little
unrealistically rapid.
Weak Points
John
seems to have treated Portia and Jeremiah like a “project.” He drew conclusions
from information that wasn’t intended for him, manipulated Portia into meeting
Jeremiah, blurted out his belief that Jeremiah is her son, and pressured her
into disclosing her identity to Jeremiah. Whether or not John was wrong about
Portia’s relationship to Jeremiah (he was wrong), he certainly overstepped his
boundaries here, both with regard to Portia, and with regard to Jeremiah (who
unbeknownst to John, has already secretly found his birthmother.) John’s
meddling costs Portia her job, and causes Jeremiah to lose self-confidence.
The
weight of secrecy is palpable in this film. Portia’s mother has lied to hide part
of Portia’s pre-history which her mother finds shameful. Portia tried to hide
her pregnancy. Jeremiah sought out his birthfamily without telling anyone, in
hopes of protecting their feelings. John does all of his meddling without Jeremiah’s knowledge. Portia desperately tries
to convince her admissions department to admit Jeremiah, while hiding her
connection to him. Nelson’s open, shameless discussion about adoption stands in
stark contrast to basically all the other dealings with adoption in the film,
but the film doesn’t make that point.
Portia’s
boyfriend of ten years has an affair. He leaves Portia when his mistress
becomes pregnant with twins. This could be a troubling scene for children who’ve
experienced parents splitting up. Some parents might object to their children
seeing John’s relationship with Portia: they share a shower and have sex on a
few occasions.
Recommendations
This
movie is pretty steeped in adoption.
There are some good aspects; John’s relationship with Nelson seems to be
exemplary. Portia ultimately reaches out to her son through agency channels,
and reports a sense of peace. But there are also problematic and potentially
confusing scenes: Jeremiah wonders if Portia only looked out for him because
she thought he was her son. John is a heroic character who meddles
inappropriately in Portia’s and Jeremiah’s affairs. John is a caricature, for
sure, but you’ve probably met him in real life: an altruistic do-gooder who has
no respect for others’ boundaries. You probably know him. Or her. All told, Admission is an imperfect but
interesting and thought-provoking film. I don’t recommend it for families because
the issues are so deep and presented in ways that young and teenage viewers
might find troubling or confusing. But adults who’ve been touched by adoption
and adults who are considering adoption could find this movie to be a doorway
into worthwhile thoughts about secrecy, reunification, and the emotions
inherent in adoption. All that to say: Recommended for adults.
Questions for Discussion after the movie
Do
you have anyone in your life that meddles like John? How could you develop
boundaries with that person?
What
do you think about Portia’s sense of peace after trying to contact her son?
Does it seem realistic?
Which
“secrets” in the movie seemed the most damaging? How could the damage be
repaired?
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You might also like these other Adoption Movie Guides of films with strongly adoption-related themes
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I wanted to see this prior to reading your analysis, but now I'm doubly determined to make a date-night happen (or just wait a bit for the DVD).
ReplyDeleteOh Lori, John is an interesting character. I'd be interested to know what you think of him!
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