Thursday, May 23, 2013
Aging Out - How Foster Teens Can (and Can't) Make It On Their Own
There are over a half-million kids in foster care. While
most of them reunify with their families or are adopted, around 20,000 age out
of care each year. Aging Out is the 2004 PBS documentary that tracks the lives
of three young adults who have aged out of foster care. It is alternatingly
frustrating, inspiring, and heartbreaking. It’s available through Netflix.
David has been in ten families. He struggles with behavioral
challenges, and wonders how he can “have feelings about having a family,”
because he’s had to do many things on his own. He describes himself as “a true addict.”
The film tracks him through several living arrangements. When he is rejected
from the military because of psychiatric issues, he is exceptionally
frustrated. He makes bad behavioral choices, and his longtime caregiver puts
all of his belongings on the curb.
Daniella is 20 and pregnant; she and her 19-year-old boyfriend
Veasna are in separate placements. They remain in care because of the financial
benefits, but wish to live together. Daniella has moved twelve times in the
last four years, and is growing increasingly frustrated with household rules
that seem punitive.
Risa is the first in her family to graduate “from high
school instead of prison.” She has been with her foster mother, Delores, for
two years, and is getting ready to leave for college. Delores is Risa’s tenth foster
mother. Risa explains, “I’m sure Delores is proud and everything, but [having
your foster mother here] is not your actual mom and dad.” Risa struggles with
drug addiction, but also is incredibly hardworking. She eventually has a
psychotic breakdown, but Delores is there for her.
Strong Points
This film is emotionally moving. There are many underserved
older children and very young adults in foster care. Aging Out captures the
frustration that these young people feel – and the frustration that they cause.
It portrays dedicated foster providers who refuse to reach a breaking point,
some who do reach a breaking point, and some who don’t seem to care. Although
it’s nearly ten years old, the problem it addresses is still very current. You
can’t watch this film and not be at least challenged to think about helping
these kids.
Challenges
Kids probably shouldn’t watch this one. David is kicked out
of his home for (seriously) misbehaving. He misses his taxi ride, and so the
father figure explodes, putting David’s stuff outside and yelling at him.
David and Risa are both shown using illegal drugs.
The Saddest Part (I’d
call this a spoiler if this was a movie review. It’s also traumatic)
The saddest part of the film comes from the epilogue. After
her psychotic break, Risa returned to the Los Angeles area. She was found
murdered shortly after. It’s heartbreaking. Risa was a likeable, strong,
wounded but persevering girl. And she died. The film is dedicated to her
memory, with the explanation that it hopes to help make it easier for kids to
have successful transitions out of foster care.
More About The
Saddest Part. (Research outside of the film.)
But I did some research, and in the years since the film was
made, more has come out. Risa was killed by a friend. Risa’s friend killed two
people in a gang-related murder, and then killed Risa several days later
because he realized that she could be a witness against him. The killer also
experienced abuse. He was sentenced to death, and “Aging Out” was shown in
court to help the jury decide on the penalty. The filmmakers have made a second
film (No Tomorrow) chronicling the life of the killer, as they struggle with
his death sentence in the light of his childhood.
Recommendation
Aging Out is a powerful look at a painful situation. Come
into it with an open heart, and you’ll leave heartbroken – but perhaps
encouraged and emboldened to help fix the problem of underserved youth aging
out of foster care. If you want to learn more, here's a post on whether kids or adults are ever too old for adoption, some insight on what to expect if you foster/adopt, and an interview with actress and author Nia Vardalos sharing her experience on foster care/adoption.
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