Ida Adoption Movie Review

In 1960’s Poland, a young novice nun, Anna, is preparing to make her lifetime vows of poverty, chastity and obedience next week. Before she can join the convent, however, her prioress requires her to seek out her aunt. Anna finds her aunt, Wanda, and learns much of her own history. Anna’s real name is Ida Lebenstein. She was born to a Jewish family during World War 2, and her parents and brother were killed. She was spared by the man who killed them, believing that, because she was an infant, no one would know she was Jewish. He brought her to a priest, and left her there. Now, with the help of her aunt, Ida hunts out her history and works to decide whether she wishes to actually become a nun.

How Does This Connect to Adoption?

Ida reminds me of Closure, in some ways. A young woman travels far in order to uncover her history. Ida also has to decide how to incorporate her history into her future.

Strong Points

Ida’s prioress understands the importance of personal history. Before allowing Ida to choose what to do with her future, the prioress requires her to learn about her past. Ida’s access to her historical information did not come without great effort, and the information that she received was not easy to accept, but it does help her develop a fuller picture of her life, history, identity, and, I believe, her future.

Challenges

Not every exploration into one’s history is painless. Ida learns that her family was murdered. She sees their grave, and transports their remains to a family grave. Her aunt commits suicide.

Recommendations

Ida is a very well-made movie. It is Poland’s official entry into the Best Foreign-Language Film category for the upcoming Academy Awards. It’s sad and thoughtful. I also felt personally drawn to this film because I am Polish, and it’s actually through my adoption work that I became interested in learning more about my Polish heritage. The film has received very solid critical and popular reviews. I found it a bit slow and sad for my taste, and also, perhaps, a little confusing. On the other hand, I do appreciate the invitation to travel with a young adult who fully explores her past before making commitments for her future. The film isn’t rated, but is probably best geared towards audiences 15 and up. The film is widely accessible online; check out its site to see it. http://www.musicboxfilms.com/ida-movies-98.php

Questions for Discussion

How does your understanding of your family’s past impact your identity?   How does your self-identity impact the decisions you make for the future?

Here's the trailer:

Adoption at the Movies Two-Year Blogiversary!

Adoption at the Movies recently celebrated its two-year blogiversary. Back in October of 2012, the site opened with a review of Disney’s The Odd Life of Timothy Green. Since then, we’ve covered around 150 films, and Adoption at the Movies has been read in over 100 countries. Adoption at the Movies’ reviews have also been carried in several foster care, adoption, and social work magazines. Also, since then, I moved from Missouri to Los Angeles, which is really a neat place to live when you’re writing movie reviews! Last week, Adoption at the Movies was also honored as Addison Cooper was presented with an Emerging Leader award by the Eastern Nazarene College Alumni Association.

photo credit angiescakesandbakes.blogspot.com

We’ve recently run a few polls on Adoption at the Movies, to help know how the site is used, and how it can be most helpful. Most readers come to the site looking for a review of a specific movie. Adoptive and foster parents want to know whether a movie will be a positive or a negative experience for their kids. The most requested films are current films with ratings up to PG 13, with a slight preference for animated films; parents also are interested in reviews of already-released films with definite adoption connections.

I’m looking forward to the next several years of adoption movie reviews. Thanks for being here, and please keep reading! New reviews come out every Tuesday!

In celebration of the first 2 years of Adoption at the Movies (and because I’m kind of a stats geek), here are the most-viewed posts from each month of the first 2 years! Any that you haven’t seen yet? 

Check them out!  Thanks for reading, and hey, please share this with a friend!

The Most-Read Post from Each Month of Our First Two Years

October 2012: Disney's Tarzan

November 2012: Angels in the Outfield

December 2012: Superman 2

January 2013: Despicable Me

February 2013: The Blind Side (Guest Post by Lori Holden)

March 2013: Interview with Nia Vardalos

April 2013: 50 Children: The Rescue Mission of Mr. and Mrs. Kraus

May 2013: The Jungle Book

June 2013: The Fosters - Episodes 2 and 3 Recap

July 2013: Despicable Me 2

August 2013: Turbo

September 2013: Moving and Foster Care

October 2013: Disney/Pixar's Up

November 2013: Frozen

December 2013: Instructions Not Included

January 2014: Lambert the Sheepish Lion

February 2014: The 2014 Adoption at the Movies Awards

March 2014: Mr. Peabody and Sherman

April 2014: Rio 2

May 2014: X-Men Days of Future Past

June 2014: How to Train Your Dragon 2

July 2014: Earth to Echo

August 2014: The Giver

September 2014: The Boxtrolls

October 2014: ReMoved

The Book of Life Adoption Movie Review

A busload of children assigned to detention arrives at a history museum. They’re unexcited, and expect to be left unimpressed. They are greeted by a confident woman who presents herself as a tour guide. The children prepare to follow her through the front door of the museum, but she leads them down a hidden path, explaining, “You’re not like the other kids.” The children follow the guide past an elderly employee, and eventually they find themselves in a room filled with treasure and skulls. The guide intones, “Behold the glorious beauty of Mexico.” She leads the children to The Book of Life, from which she reads them a legend about how the ways of the world came to be. It is a story of a bet between two gods (La Muerte, who rules the Land of the Remembered, and Xibalba, who rules the Land of the Forgotten.) It’s also the story of two boys, Joaquin and Manolo, who love the same girl, Mariam the coming of age of all three of them, and the fate of a town threatened by villains. It’s a lot of stories, but as the film rightly says, “All the world is made of stories.”

The Adoption Connection

The theme of remembering, and desiring, those we’ve lost is relevant to folks who’ve been adopted or who are in foster care.

Strong Points

The boys both want Maria’s hand, but Maria asserts, “I belong to no one.”

Although they are rivals, and at times are close to becoming enemies, the friendship of Joaquin and Manolo perseveres; each risks his life to save the other.

The Day of the Dead is a significant part of the story; it underscores the importance of remembering those we have lost.

The film encourages kids to “write your own life.”

Challenges

Some scenes take place in the underworld. Children might be frightened to see dead characters return, transformed.

One father puts considerable pressure on his son to follow in his footsteps, and expresses great disappointment when the son follows his own heart.

A character comments that he can feel the presence of his lost mother one day a year. It is a good thought, and I think it is a valuable idea to have rituals to help us remember those we have lost – whether through death or through other means; at the same time, it’d be good to make sure kids know that they’re not limited to annual remembrances of those they have lost.

One character tries to comfort a young boy by telling him that, so long as he remembers his dead mother, she is still here – but that if he forgets her, she will be truly gone. I wonder if kids who have lost relationships with their parents through adoption or through foster care might come away from that scene with an unhelpful sense of guilt.  

One beloved character dies unexpectedly, and this could be very difficult for young viewers. Earlier, the character is told by a close friend, basically, that he deserves to be dead. (For what it’s worth, the narration of the Day of the Dead is interrupted here and the film cuts back to the detention kids. One of them asks, “What kind of a story is this? We’re just kids!” – it’s welcome comic relief.) ***SPOILER – he is later brought back to life. ***

One character asks, “What is it with Mexicans and death?” It’s meant (and probably will be taken) as a joke, but some audiences might be taken aback at any ethnically-based jokes.

Weak Points

Because he refuses to compromise his sense of right and wrong, one young man is disowned by his father.

A villain attempts to destroy the whole town by blowing himself up.

Recommendations

This is a fun movie with excellent use of music. It shows beautiful friendships that survive difficult times, and family relationships that are restored, even after being severed by death or by arguments. It also emphasizes that value of remembering those with whom we have lost contact (in the film, it’s because of death, but I think adoptees and foster children could also see a connection to the losses they’ve experienced). At the same time, some concerns – and the death-centric aspect of the story, might make it too scary for young viewers. Other kids might be fascinated when a character, upon dying, is reunited with generations of his ancestors. I could see this being hard for adoptees who are reminded of the biologically-related relations they’ve lost, or empowering as they consider their place in the histories of multiple families. It could be a good film to watch and then immediately process with kids between the ages of 9-12; there are good conversations to be had.  

 

Questions for Discussion

Who do you miss? How do you remember them? What could we do to help celebrate our memories of them?

If you could be reunited with people from your past – some that you’ve met, some that you’ve only heard about – who would they be?

What do you think happens after we die?

What do you want to be when you grow up? Do you think your parents support you? 

Talking About ReMoved Part 2 - an Interview with Christina Matanick

I recently had a chance to catch up with Christina Matanick, the writer of ReMoved.

Addison: what's your own connection to foster care and adoption?

Christina: My husband and I have always considered adoption, and when we started exploring the possibilities, someone told us about adoption from foster care. We signed up to learn more at foster parent trainings and began to understand that the need goes beyond just adoption and into journeying with kids in foster care regardless of their court process being an adoptive or reunification situation. It broke our hearts to imagine our own children being moved from home to home, separated from each other, and feeling so unloved and unwanted.

At the time of these initial trainings, our social worker (an amazing woman named Chris Poynter) was trying to help our class understand foster care from the child's point of view. It's so easy to look at life from our own perspective--the challenges and sacrifices we would make in order to open our home to someone else's child--and so difficult to move from our own perspective into seeing something through another person's experience. Chris showed us a slideshow of quotes a kid in foster care might say, if they were able to articulate their emotions. It was heartbreakingly sad.

After that little slideshow, Nathanael and I looked at each other and said, "We should make this into a film." At the time, we had already signed up for a short film speedmaking competition, so we decided to make the topic of foster care our subject matter. From there, I did a lot more research on understanding the foster care experience through a child's perspective, Nathanael assembled an amazing team of people to come on board with the project, and then we wrote, shot, and edited the actual film within the film competition's parameters.

Addison: What has been your most cherished feedback from the film?

Christina: All the feedback from foster alum. Also from foster parents (and people who are NOW foster parents because of ReMoved). That's been extraordinary. But definitely the most cherished feedback is all the foster alum (and current youth too) who have written us saying "Thank you," that ReMoved tells their story and articulates their emotion in a way that nothing else ever has. That is simply mind-blowing and overwhelming in such an amazing way. We are so blessed to be a part of that.

Addison: What are your hopes for Part 2, and, a year from now, what do you hope it will have accomplished?

Christina: We hope it's an extraordinary piece of art. Better than the first one. And that it reaches and touches more people than part one. We hope that it will play even a small role in breaking the cycle of abuse and neglect that continues to perpetuate itself in our nation and our world. We hope less kids will have to experience this story, that more people will get involved, and that it will inspire and challenge people to love one another better.

Addison: How can people support the film now?

Christina: There's still time to be part of the team that is making ReMoved Part Two happen! You can visit our kickstarter campaign at www.removedfilm.com but time is running out to get your name in the credits or pick out some awesome reward.

Addison: How can people support the film once it's released?

Christina: Share it! Send it to your friends, do something about this issue--don't just watch it and remain unmoved. This really is an organic movement because of ordinary people.

Thanks to Christina for her time, and to everyone involved with ReMoved for making such a powerful, valuable picture of life in foster care. For the next twenty hours, you can become part of the project by clicking here.

ReMoved - Foster Care Movie Review

ReMoved follows the emotional journey of a nine-year-old girl --Zoe-- who is removed from her abusive birth home and placed in the tumultuous foster care system. This poignant short film provides insight on the experiences of many children coming from homes of abuse and neglect, and explores the emotion of it all through the child's point of view.

According to the film’s writer, Christina Matanick, “ReMoved Part Two will look at a more holistic view of the situation in foster care today, exploring how to prevent the cycle of abuse and neglect from perpetuating itself in the first place.”  She says , “This continuation of Zoe's story will examine how different players in a child's life affect the prospects of his or her future.”

How's this relevant to foster care and adoption?

In only 13 minutes, ReMoved powerfully captures the emotional experience of a child in foster care. The filmmakers report that many people within the foster care and adoptive worlds, including social workers, CASAs, foster alum, foster parents, counselors, and adoptive parents have heralded ReMoved as one of the best pieces of literature depicting the experience of a child in foster care.

The film is captivating and powerful. In a few short months, it has become a widely-used video in trainings for foster and adoptive families. The agency I work for uses it in trainings, as well, and my experience is that foster parents – and social workers – are often moved to tears as they are confronted with the pain and insecurity that a child experiences while in care.

Strengths

This is an excellent, emotional film that can help prospective foster and adoptive parents understand, at a raw, emotional level, the perspective of a child in foster care.

Challenges

Scenes of abuse, and sad scenes about foster care, could be difficult to see for children who are actively living it out. Conversely, though, some therapists have found the film a helpful tool for current foster youth. 

Recommendation

ReMoved comes highly recommended by agencies and foster care alum. It gets my high recommendation for foster families, friends of foster families, and people considering foster care. It will also be valuable to some youth in foster care; parents may want to screen the film first.

Where to See It

ReMoved, part 1, is available to see for free online. Here’s the full film.

Questions for Discussion (by Christina Matanick, writer of ReMoved)

How is Zoe's story similar or different from your own?

Did you expect the ending? How did it make you feel?

What emotions did she have to process, and what finally helped her experience begin to change toward being hopeful?

Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day review

Eleven-year-old Alexander Cooper has had a horrible day.  His friend has texted embarrassing, doctored photographs of him to the whole school. His birthday party falls on the same day as the party of a more popular student, and it sounds like his will go unattended. When Alexander tries to share about his day with his family, they do not listen; they are distracted by their own lives. His older brother, Anthony, is getting ready for tomorrow’s prom. His sister, Emily, is preparing for tomorrow’s school play. His overly-optimistic but out-of-work father is enthralled by the day he has had with his infant son Trevor, and is also focusing on tomorrow’s job interview, and publishing executive mom Kelly is preparing for a very important book release. Frustrated and alone, Alexander wishes that his family will understand what it’s like to be him – that they will know what it means to have a completely horrible day. And, since this is a Disney movie, wishes do come true.

How’s This Relevant to Foster Care and Adoption?

Kids in foster care may struggle with magical thinking that makes them feel responsible for their removal from their parents. Alexander feels responsible for the bad days his family members are having. This film doesn’t really have adoption or foster care themes, but it does have a strong “family” theme – and all foster families and adoptive families are, after all, families.

 

Strengths

I generally like Ben’s optimism, but the film shows how even optimism isn’t always the right response. The film suggests “some days are just bad,” that you have to accept that, and move on. I think there’s value in allowing kids (and grown-ups) to acknowledge pain and sadness without feeling the need to put on a happy face. Sometimes we have really bad days, and acknowledging that is an important part of processing it. The film also shows that hard times can bring families together.  

When Alexander blames himself for the family’s string of bad luck, the family quickly realizes how bad he’s feeling, and universally surrounds him with love and assurance that they will stick together. Alexander’s magical thinking makes him think that everyone else’s bad days are his own fault; his family firmly and universally denies this. It’s good. Kids often blame themselves when they don’t understand why hard things have happened – that’s probably especially true of kids who’ve been taken into foster care. This film extends warm assurance – “it’s not your fault.”  

Kelly notes that Alexander has been moody since the arrival of Trevor. In fact, it seems like Alexander has been a bit ignored. He’s also been the baby of the family for ten years, so it would make sense that he’s having a bit of trouble adjusting to his new role.

Challenges

There’s a rather frightening car accident.

Alexander’s birthday party is Australian-themed. His parents book a group of Australian cowboys as entertainers without realizing that they are strippers. Thankfully, they realize it in time and successfully request a “PG” show. Clothes stay on. This joke will probably go over most young kids’ heads.

Kelly accidentally walks in on Anthony while he is undressed in the bathroom.

Weak Point
Anthony's girlfriend attempts to comment humorously on the awkwardness of his family; she asks,"Are you sure you're not adopted?" This could be an unexpectedly uncomfortable moment for some viewers.

Recommendation

Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day is a funny movie. The kids I attended with enjoyed it. Aside from a rather frightening car crash, there’s not much to worry about, and there are two therapeutically valid and helpful messages to reinforce: It’s OK to call a bad day a bad day, and families can stick together even in the midst of bad days.

Questions for Discussion

What hard times has your family survived?

Have you ever felt, like Alexander, responsible for something that really probably wasn’t your fault?

Have you ever felt, like Alexander, like no one cared enough to listen to you?

Is it OK to feel sad?

Men, Women and Children Adoption Movie Guide

Our lives are profoundly shaped by social media. We make friends, communicate, find romance, and fight online. Paramount Pictures’ Men Women and Children showcases how the lives of high school students and their parents are enmeshed with the online world. One mother watches over her daughter’s social media very intently. Both members of a struggling couple seek affairs online. Pornography negatively impacts men and women, adults and teens. Girls are subjected to online sites that promote unhealthy body image.

  

How’s This Relevant to Foster Care and Adoption?

This isn’t so much relevant to foster care and adoption, so much as it is relevant to parenting any teen or pre-teen. Foster kids and adopted kids are, among other things… kids. And they grow up to be teenagers. And in all likelihood, the internet will impact them. Kids who have been adopted or in foster care may use the internet to search for their birth families or former foster homes. They may use the internet to develop their sense of identity. On the other side of those internet transactions are folks, some of whom are safe, and some of whom are not.

Strengths

The film is surprisingly thoughtful, and offers a broad view of the range of ways in which social media impacts the lives of teenagers and their parents. Although it’s hard to see, the film also does a good job of depicting a teenager’s spiral into depression and suicidality. It’s not a happy movie – but it certainly is thought-provoking.

Challenges

There’s a lot of uncomfortable stuff in the movie, but the movie thoughtfully shows realistic consequences and growth from lessons learned. A mother exploits her teenage daughter by having her pose for racy pictures. This is uncomfortable, even though the mother does eventually suffer consequences. A father, desperate for pornography, uses his teenage son’s computer. Both father and son are addicted to pornography, and both have relationships that suffer because of it. An overzealous mother’s efforts to protect her daughter drive her daughter’s boyfriend to attempt suicide. A girl is invested in a website that promotes eating disorders; she eventually has a serious health emergency. A boy is bullied by text message.

Recommendation

Men, Women and Children struck me as thoughtful, funny and sometimes silly, in a 1980’s BBC Hitchhikers-Guide-to-the-Galaxy sort of way. Social media seems inextricable from the lives of most teenagers today, and this film does a good of showing how that can be a good thing or a bad thing. It’s not a movie for kids, and some adults will be put off by the well-earned R rating (predominantly for sexual situations,) but for those adults who are open to it, it’s worth seeing because of how thought-provoking it is in its exploration of social media. Recommended for adults.  

 

Questions for Discussion

How can parents encourage their teens to process their sad feelings without being overbearing?

How connected are each of your kids to social media? How much does it impact their lives, self-image, and friendships?

How involved should a parent be in monitoring their kids’ use of the internet? How much is too much? How much is not enough?

The Maze Runner Adoption Movie Review

16-year-old Thomas awakens to find himself in The Glade, an unfamiliar settlement populated entirely by teenage boys. He remembers neither his history nor his name, initially, but is told that it will come back to him. This has happened before, the other boys inform him; a new boy arrives in The Glade every month. The Glade is green clearing surrounded by an ever-changing maze, and the boys want to get out. However, the entrance to the maze closes automatically each night, and no boy has ever survived a night in the maze, so the community of boys has limited access to the maze to a select few. There are monsters that lurk in the maze. They are called “Grievers,” and they seem to kill by stinging the boys, injecting them with a serum that seems to produce lunacy. Once, to save another boy, Thomas violates the community’s rules and runs into the maze. In doing so, he discovers that the Grievers are not wild beasts, but rather, robotic guards. This raises the question – who controls the Grievers, and why are they so intent on keeping the boys in The Glade?

 How’s This Relevant to Foster Care and Adoption?

Thomas finds himself in an unfamiliar place, surrounded by unfamiliar faces, with no memory of his past. Later, he decides that he needs to know his past. Some adoptees might resonate with Thomas’ desire to know his own story. **SPOILER ALERT** The “lunacy” caused by the sting of the Grievers is actually a clearing of a memory block (or, to borrow from Laura Dennis, a “fog”), allowing the boys to remember the truth of their past, how they arrived in the Glade, and the fact that Thomas had been one of their captors.  **END SPOILER**

Strengths

As their outlook seems grimmer and grimmer, one character encourages the other boys to “face the truth, even at a risk.” That’s a great motto for adoptive and foster families; openness and honesty can be painful, but the truth can be processed and integrated in ways that secrecy and lies cannot. In this film, many of the characters do choose to risk facing the truth, and it ultimately works for their benefit.

Weak Points

There’s a lot of kid-on-kid, lethal violence in this film. Boys have wrestling matches and fistfights early in the movie, but by the end, we’ve seen one boy imprison another; one boy tries to offer two other youths as human sacrifices, a boy shoots another, and yet another boy stabs a boy through the heart with a spear. It’s kind of a lot. Perhaps even more difficult to watch – the boys do not know how to cure the Griever-induced lunacy, and so to protect the community, they force infected ones into the maze to die.

The film’s monsters are grotesque.

Recommendation

The Maze Runner feels like a dark, sometimes horror-esque meeting of The Hunger Games and Lord of the Flies. This movie will be followed by a sequel; the ending leaves quite a few questions unanswered in a way that felt pretty unsatisfying. 

The darkness and violence of the film makes it hard to recommend for anyone much younger than 16, in spite of its PG-13 rating.  I do value the film’s premise that truth is important and – even though it might hurt to know – it is often the only way to freedom. Except, in this film, the truth the kids eventually discover is only part of a bigger lie. This is probably one to skip; if your teens do watch it, it does provide an interesting platform to talk about the importance of knowing the truth.

 

Questions for Discussion

Why did Gally not want to go into the maze?

Is it better for someone to face a difficult or frightening truth, or to try to ignore it?