Tuesday, April 25, 2017
Gifted Adoption Movie Review
Mary is a seven-year-old prodigy. She’s lived with her uncle
Frank since as long as she can remember; her mother left her with Frank shortly
before committing suicide, and she’s never known her father. Mary’s mother was
also a prodigy; pushed by her mother, she devoted her life to mathematics, but
committed suicide rather than publishing her most significant findings. Now,
Frank’s estranged mother, Mary’s grandmother, learns of Mary’s brilliance and
tries to take Mary from Frank. She files a lawsuit, and now Mary’s future will
be decided by the judicial system.
*SPOILERS THE REST OF THE WAY*
The Adoption
Connection
As a compromise, Frank and his mother agree that Mary will
live in foster care. When Frank learns that his mother is also living at the
foster home, directing Mary into a life of scholarship, he removes Mary from
the foster home. To earn his mother’s cooperation, he breaks a promise to his
deceased sister and gives his mother her mathematical findings. This appeases
her, and she allows Mary to return to Frank.
My experience of the foster care system hasn’t involved
cases like this. It seems unlikely that an arrangement reached by mediation could
be so easily broken – but, perhaps it could since Frank’s mother consented once
she had her daughter’s mathematical findings.
Mary’s birthfather appears in court to speak in favor of the
grandmother taking custody, but he has never met Mary. When Mary learns that
her birthfather was in her town and still didn’t come to see her, she breaks
down crying, “He doesn’t even want to see what I look like.” In response, Frank
takes Mary to a hospital’s maternity ward; they sit in the waiting room, and
Mary is able to see families celebrate the arrival of a new baby. Frank assures
her, “that’s how happy it was when you were born.”
He tells her that he was the
one who came out and told everyone the news.
Strong Points
Frank is a caring parent; he has chosen to prioritize a
normal childhood over high achievement for Mary because he saw his sister
driven to suicide as a result of constantly being pushed to achieve. Frank
ultimately finds a compromise between the two poles; Mary is able to attend
college lectures, but also is able to participate in fun childhood activities.
Mary is awkward, but also kind. She stands up to a bully,
and encourages her class to show appreciation for the bullied child.
Challenges
Frank’s mother, Evelyn, is a difficult character to believe;
her own need to achieve lasting greatness vicariously through her family poisons
her relationships with her children and her grandchild, and she only releases
her grasp on her granddaughter when she is granted vicarious achievement.
Mary is supposed to spend each Saturday morning with a
neighbor. She comes home earlier than expected and finds that her uncle has
spent the night with her teacher. Embarrassed, Frank yells at Mary, leaving
Mary wondering whether he has “no life because of me.” Frank quickly explains
that he didn’t mean it. (Actually, he refers to a conversation he and Mary had
a month earlier where she wished him dead. He asked her, “did you mean that?”
to illustrate his point that sometimes, things are said that aren’t meant).
It’s heart wrenching to see Mary feel betrayed; Frank
promised that she would not have to leave, but it was a promise he couldn’t
keep; he had to leave her at a foster home.
The cat Mary loves is almost killed; it was sent to a
shelter because of her grandmother’s allergy, and Frank found out about it and
rescued it minutes before it would have been killed.
The foster family tries to prevent Frank from his allowed
contact with Mary, and try to hide the fact that Frank’s mother has moved in to
shape Mary’s life.
Recommendations
Gifted explores the need of
parents to balance a kid’s achievements with their happiness, but it also deals
with intrafamilial drama, broken promises, and foster care. This wouldn’t be appealing
to kids, but could be worthwhile viewing for foster parents and those
considering becoming foster parents. As you watch it, think about the importance
of promises. Also, consider that the kids you’ll be caring for may have a range
of services and therapeutic goals; how do you balance those needs with the child’s
need for a happy, child-like childhood?
Questions for
Discussion
How can you find a healthy balance between achievement and a
fun childhood? Is this question relevant for kids who are experience delays as
well as those who are advanced?
How do you fix it when you say something too harshly to your
kids?
How can you comfort a
kid who grieves for lost relationships with their birthparents?
How can you provide comfort to a child who desires
permanency without making promises that you can’t ensure are kept?
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